Axiom #5: Look for "God Moments"

The past week has been pretty hectic. In addition to returning from a conference to find appointments scheduled for me, and a fall planning schedule looming ahead, my oldest daughter and son-in-law sold their home and purchased another one. That required a lot of work for them, and I have wanted to assist as much as I could, so I gave them the better part of three days. I loved being able to help and wish to do more. It reminded me, however, of some times when one of my primary Axioms came into play. “Always be looking for God moments.”

The house they just sold has some great memories for me. Not nearly as many as for them of course, but a quite a few family events happened in that house. On two occasions I was leaving a meeting in their area when I knew my oldest daughter Alyssa was at home alone. If I remember correctly, both times her husband, John was out of town or maybe even out of the country. As I left my meeting that started at 8:00 am and ended at 11:00 am, I got the idea to call Alyssa and see if they would like to have lunch. It was nothing fancy, just fast food as I recall. I picked it up took it to them, and we sat at their bar and ate lunch together. On both occasions, I was so very aware that my daughter and my two grandchildren (ages 3 and 1) were so glad to see me. It was a surprise visit, and the kids were almost giddy showing me this and that, enjoying the food. Alyssa herself seemed genuinely pleased at the “adult break” in her toddler dominated day. I stayed a little less than an hour, gave them all a big hug and kiss and went on my way. On a third such occasion, while John was in Mexico on a mission endeavor, I took my mower over and mowed their lawn. She told me not to, but when I left, I knew I had done the right thing.

Each times as I drove away, I was so very keenly aware that this did not just happen. God had been directing my steps. I not only needed to see them, they needed to see me. It was clear from the time I called until the time I drove away.

In life, in ministry in general, and in leadership specifically, I have learned to be very sensitive to these “God moments.” These events you cannot anticipate; you cannot plan for; but they are clearly the REAL plans for the day. This sort of fits into my “following your gut,” but it is different. It is more than watching for events as they unfold, this is watching where God is directing and making these events happen.

Over a decade ago, I was in my office at a former ministry location with a heavy day of administrative work staring at me. Somewhere mid afternoon the receptionist called me to say, “Terry, there is a John Doe here to see you. He says it is urgent.” Now, in all honesty, I thought to myself, “NO!!! Not today. I am so behind!” But instead I said, “I will be right out.”

I will not tell you how I knew him, but we had a passing acquaintance and I knew he had just experienced a semi-traumatic event in his life. John Doe and I walked back to my office, closed the door and sat down. After a few pleasantries he looked at me and said something to this effect, “Terry, what is all this talk about trusting Jesus? Can you tell me about how this faith stuff works?”

Now . . . I am no rocket scientist, but even I could hear God screaming with the full fervor of lungs of Deity saying, “Hey Terry, THIS is your event for the day, not those papers on your desk.”

Events are not usually that dramatic for me, or for you I will wager, but you know what? They are there. When you are planning leadership events, or your days activities or team meetings or whatever . . . always leave room in the back of your mind for the God moments. It may just be what was supposed to happen in the first place.

Axiom #4: Reentry

This summer my wife and I visited the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. It was the highlight of our vacation. The experience is incredible. I was able to ride a space shuttle simulator, which an astronaut there, said was very realistic. We visited the control room for the Saturn moon shots. That in itself was a pretty emotional experience considering the history that was contained in that room. I also stood underneath a Saturn moon rocket. It is so immense you cannot fully describe it. The bottom of the rocket itself has five main propulsion points. Each one has a circumference larger than a full grown man. The circumference of the rocket itself is even larger than that, and the length is hard to describe. To think that this thing actually got off the ground boggles the mind.

Being the age I am, I recall sitting in elementary, junior high, and high school when the astronauts would return to earth. They would put several classes together and wheel a black and white TV in the room and we would watch with baited breath as the rockets cleared reentry and then landed in the Pacific Ocean. In those early years, after arriving back on earth, the men (no women flew at that time) would be in isolation for a period of time. I do not recall how long exactly, but I remember they could not be with their wives or children until a “decontamination period” had expired and they were medically cleared. Things have indeed changed.

This morning I am preparing to leave to fly home. I will stop by my office simply because it is directly on my route home. I will then take the weekend to be at home and assist my daughter and son-in-law with their packing in preparation for a move into their new home. Monday I will return to my office and head into a full work week.

My work schedule next week, at least early on, is light. That is intentional. I planned it that way. I always plan it that way. I call it “reentry.” After I out of the office for a period of time, be it vacation or conference, I do not go back in a full steam of meetings. I used to. I was superman. I could handle it. And I did . . . albeit, at a price.

The temptation is to do just the opposite of what I did. After all you have been gone, so you have to hit it hard. You have to set up lots of work meetings so you can get lots of work done. Do you?

Over the years, I have learned that the first couple of days back to work everyone will want a piece of you. There will be questions they have held back until you retuned. Mail will be on your desk. Email will need attended (even if you have tried to keep up). All of this will wear on you if you set up to many meetings.

After a time away from the office, I think reentry for a leader means he or she must leave the first couple of days as open as possible. They need to be available for those they lead while they are catching up on the administration that comes with the sitting in the leader’s chair.

I tell my staff exactly that. I tell them what I am doing and why. I encourage them to likewise plan their reentry when they have been off work. Health is a multifaceted thing. It takes balance. Now, at 55 years of age I have learned that phone booths, or revolving doors, will not put a cape on my back.

Axiom #3 - Servants are Equals

I am writing this from my hotel in Washington, DC. I am here for a conference. It is a nice hotel. I am staying at a Marriott. It has a nice gym, good restaurants, great service, and nice amenities. They even gave me a welcome gift bag with chocolates just for being a Rewards Member! I am living large!

Each morning, after my shower, I head down to the day’s meetings. I will on occasion make a stop in the room throughout the day, but for the most part, I am gone all day. When I return my bed is made, the rest room is cleaned, the coffee supply is refreshed, there are two new bottles of water for me, and the place is generally spruced up quite nicely. That does not happen by accident. Someone actually DOES this work. Years ago, I took this for granted. Well, maybe that is too strong of language. I did not take it for granted, but I did not go the extra mile in being grateful.

Sometime in the early 1990’s my wife was reading an article in one of those “women’s magazines” when she looked up and said to me something to this effect, “Now here is an interesting comment. It says we tip the folks who serve us our food but we do not tip the people who clean our hotel rooms and that is wrong.” We chatted a few moments about that, but I changed my behavior that day. I realized the truth of that statement. I tip the person who brings my food, why should I not tip the person who cleans my bathroom and makes my bed?

I travel 4-6 times a year for work. Our family will stay in hotel 3-4 times a year for vacations and trips. We always do the same thing. Each morning before we leave we take a piece of paper and on it we will write, “Tip for Housekeeping.” We then leave some money for the room service person. I do not have to. It is not required. It is not in the contract with the hotel. But we do it. And we gladly do it. If I do not have the correct amount of cash, I will make up for it the next day. I do it on a daily basis and not at the end of my stay, just in case the staff is different.

Do not think they do not notice and know who you are. On more than one occasion, they have stopped me and said, “Thank you very much for the tips.” It actually happened just this morning.

Now, why would I tell you that? If you think it is to brag, please click the small “x” at the top right hand of the screen. You do not get it at all. I do it because, in my mind, the BIGGEST revealer of a person’s character is how they treat those who serve them. If you are rude and inconsiderate to those you deem as beneath you, it tells me how you will treat peers and superiors given the opportunity.

While in college I spent time in the service industry. I waited tables and did other jobs that were service jobs. (In many ways, I still am in the service industry I guess.) I believe that people do food service jobs or are hotel housekeeping personnel for a reason. Life usually forces then into it. I would wager that no one responded to the question, “Now what do you want to be when you grow up?” with, “I want to clean toilets for non family members for minimum wage.” Or, “I want to serve food to griping, demanding and ungrateful people for less than minimum wage, so they can give me a tip.”

I think most people who do these jobs are forced into it. I think most are single mothers, or students, or moms who are trying to make a little extra to keep the family afloat.

While still living in Chattanooga, TN I had many occasion to go to dinner with the members of the Single Adult Ministry I led. One such occasion, we had a woman with us whom I will call Valerie. Valerie’s treatment of our food server was deplorable at best. She was demanding. She was rude. She was inconsiderate. Valerie was every server’s nightmare. My wife told me she had witnessed this before, but it was my first time to see it. It just so happens, I was paying the entire bill for the group. There were about 10 of us. When I signed the slip with my payment I wrote these words on it,

“Please forgive me of the behavior of my rude inconsiderate friend. I am ashamed of her behavior. The way she treated you was just INEXCUSEABLE, and we all intend to talk to her about it. Please know that all Christians are not like this and the Jesus we follow would not approve of this. Please accept my tip as my way of expressing sorrow and making restitution to you.”

I then tipped her about 50% of our bill. I put that part about Christians in because I have had more than one server tell me they hate to have Christians come into their restaurant after church. They are cheap and demanding.” Ouch! I know that is a caricature and a generalization, but it still hurts.

We could talk about folks who shine shoes, who carry your bags, or any number of things, but we all get the point. How do were treat folks who serve us? Maybe it is your mother or father or another family member. How do you treat them? How generous are you with gratitude? How polite are you? How . . . well, you get the point. How you treat people you perceive as beneath you, is a revealer of your character. It tells everyone the kind of the person you are. When I am evaluating the folks I lead, you can bet your last dollar I am taking note when we are out to lunch.

Oh yeah, this week my room has had extra fresh water, extra coffee supplies, and in general I can tell it was given a little extra care. It was not my rationale for doing this, but it sure was nice.

Axiom #2: Don't Ignore Your Gut

In 1993 I began my doctoral studies. One of the first classes I had to take was two full days of psychological evaluation. We did private stuff, group stuff, and small group stuff. You name it. We did it. I took the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (which looks for deviation), and who knows how many other inventories in preparation for that class. The goal was to determine if we were emotionally stable enough for that terminal degree. I passed, just in case you are wondering.

That class gave me my first extensive exposure to the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator. Since then I have taken it at least twice more. While certain traits have shifted in strength, etc. due to life situation or whatever, one of the four indicators has not altered. The “N.” I am an “intuitive.” Without going into great detail, an MBTI Intuitive not a “woman’s intuition” type of thing. It is something more basic.

As an “N” I follow my gut. It guides my best decisions. Ignoring it, leads to my worst decisions. An “N” does not necessarily make decisions based upon facts. We make it based upon our “gut.” I remember the counselor talking extensively to me about that in 1993 and thinking, “How does he know this about me. He is so right.”

Last week at the Leadership Summit we viewed a dramatization video of a local church with staff and board with dysfunctions. One of the gross characterizations was a senior leader who overplayed the “I follow my gut.” It became, intentionally, very humorous. There are extremes here, as in anything, and that is certainly not what I am talking about.

As I look back over my past years (35+ now) I can see where every time I have ignored my “gut,” I have regretted it. An “N” should not ignore facts; they just are not the primary way we make our decisions. The “gut” should make us take a closer look at the facts. Reexamine them. Run the numbers again. Ask the questions again.

A few months back I was in a very tense ministry setting. The situation had gone south, and had gone south in a hurry. I was totally unaware. As soon as I learned of it, my gut said “Do something . . . NOW!” I did. It totally corrected the situation. However, due to circumstances beyond me, the situation went south again, even further and a lot harder. When I was aware of what was taking place, my gut screamed at me, “Do something Terry . . . NOW.” I did not. I let the “facts” of the situation take over. I calculated all that was around me and talked my gut down. Within hours it had blown totally to pieces and I was caught up in the carnage. It was painful to MANY people, me included. And I was at fault for not listening to my gut.

Some of you reading this are not an “N.” You are a “facts” person. MBTI would call you an “S” or Sensor. “Just the facts m’ am, just the facts.” But, there are times, even with you, when something stinks, and it stinks bad! You read the situation and cannot for the life of you, factually, figure out what is wrong. But there is something screaming at you to ignore that facts and act. Call it a check in your spirit, call it the leadership of the Holy Spirit, call it whatever you will, but you know when it is taking place.

Do not ignore those times. In business they say “If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Well, in life and leadership, the same applies. If something does not seem right, it probably is not. If you are and “S” and need facts, get them. Do the work you need to be comfortable with your decision but do not ignore the screaming in your gut telling you to either act, or stop from acting. If you are anything like me at all, and you ignore it, you will indeed regret it.

Axiom #1: "Don't do it because you have to . . ."

This first Axiom, comes from my discussions with a former ministry colleague Marlaena Cochran. Since this first axiom came out of a meeting with Marlaena, I want to give her credit.

She was talking to me regarding a ministry decision she was needing to make. The exact particulars of that decision elude me just now, but I am sure she could tell you what they were. I do recall this, however. She mentioned to me, "Terry, I think I have to do this." I said in response, "Do not do it because you have to. Do it because you cannot not do it."

I am not really sure where that came from, except from my previous life experience.

Think with me a bit about that statement. There are many things that we feel we "have" to do. But as the NFL referees often say, "Upon further review . . ." We really do not have to do it. I think it is true that we can convince ourselves there is something in a leadership setting that must be taken care of by us when in reality it is our desire leading us.

When I said "Do it because you cannot not do it," I think I am getting at something a bit more serious. I think this is the "next level." This is more than feeling you have to do it, it is not being able to talk yourself out of it. It is like a grinding in your spirit, or sandpaper in your soul. It will not go away.

A few years back I was struggling with a major ministry decision. I tried every way I could to find a way out. It was a difficult struggle. I recall pursuing every angle possible with this. It finally became clear to me what I was going to do, when I realized I simply could not not do it.

Let me be clear. I am not talking about things that are wrong or abusive or out of line in any respect. I am talking about leadership or ministry decisions that gnaw at your gut. It may be a move in ministry. It may be an alteration in methodology. It could be a personnel move. Whatever the issue is, there simply is no way you cannot follow through.

You do not "have to." You "cannot not do it."

Axioms: Introduction

A year ago while attending the Leadership Summit, I heard a talk by Bill Hybels where he referenced his latest book "Axiom." In it Hybels writes about his leadership proverbs, sort of principles that guide his leadership.

While standing in the hallway afterwards I was talking to a couple of ministry associates about that talk and the book connected with it. One of them said, "Terry, instead of just reading about axioms, you should write your own Axioms. You have as many proverbs of that sort as anyone I know." The other responded, "I agree and I know exactly what your first one should be."

A bit surprised, I took note, but allowed the business of life to get in the way. Well, now a year later, I am going to begin the process on this site. Let's see how it goes.

Kryptonite

I am a fan of the group Three Doors Down. I really like good old driving rock and roll music. In the song Kryptonite they have a great line that states, “You took for granted all the times I never let you down.”

Have you ever felt that way? As you look at your relationships and folks mention what you are doing poorly, have you ever thought to yourself, “HEY! What about this and this and this?” You may have even stated it. It has a sting to it doesn’t it?

In truth, that lyric is a great way to language “What have you done for me lately?” or our tendency to focus on the negative rather than the positive in our relationships. Why is that we do that? Why do we almost always think FIRST about what someone has done to us that is negative and not positive? I do it. You do it. We all do it.

When was the last time you stopped to realize the good and positive in your relationships? Let’s take it one step further. When was the last time you actually told them you were aware of their good behavior or those good words? When did you last write a note, sent an email or better yet spoke the works to them affirming the GOOD behavior?

Here is a novel idea. Why not look for the good? Why not remember “the times they never let you down?” Why not look for something good in your acquaintances or partner . . . and then tell them.

Balanced Envionmentalism

I am not sure how many would call me "balanced" in anything, but the other day I had an epiphany of sorts. I am what I call a "balanced environmentalist."

Al Gore will not be getting a call of support from me. Julia Robers will not find me giving up deodorant and anti-perspirant as one of my ways of protecting the environment ( as she said she does on Letterman a while back.) Those I come in contact with will be very glad. But I do think about our responsibility to protect and care for the planet our creator has entrusted to us. I work hard to recycle, even if it means going out of my way to do so, but I am not an activist, at least outwardly.

I live on a busy street so litter is prevalent in my yard each day. I hate seeing folks treat the planet like that, and at times it seems (as stated to me by one of my employees) that littering is the state hobby in western PA.

Here is the balanced view hitting me. While in Africa a few years back, I noticed my African hosts throwing out their empty water bottles onto the road after drinking the water. I asked them about that practice since we see folks do that here, and it bugs the stew out of me. They told me, it was not litter. The poor come along and pick up those bottles and use them to gather their water from watering places. How about that for a correction?

My epiphany came while mowing. I realized that a decade or so back I paid someone to come fertilize my lawn, kill the weeds, feed the grass, and then I had to mow it a lot after it was chemicalized. (Is that even a word?) I stopped that practice some time ago. There are two reasons: 1. It was not a good use of my money. 2. Why pay someone to put chemicals on my lawn so the grass will grow so I will buy more gasoline because I have to mow more often? Weeds are green too! I do not have an electric mower. But if they could make one affordable with enough power to cut my lawn (not an easy chore - I walk 7-1/2 miles every time I mow my lawn - yes I have checked it with a pedometer) I would have one.

Balanced. I really am seeking just that in this area. And you will be glad I did if you stand close to me on a hot summer day!

The Death of Michael Jackson

With all the hoopla surrounding Michael Jackson's death, I was reminded of what I wrote here in 2005.

My Favorite New Quote on the Church

"I wonder if churches do to people what zoos do to animals?" - Mark Batterson in Wild Goose Chase

Doo, Doo, Doo, Lookin' Out My Back Door

We have not been above freezing in some time, so here are some winter pix from my house. Gavin and Frosty are shown from a week ago, followed by some pix from my back deck and out the front. Notice that Frosty's hat is now covered. Finally, some of Gavin's play doh and clay creations. He has an incredibly detailed and creative side to him.

Things that make you say, "Huh?"

I cannot believe I have not written in a month . . . inexcusable. So to start the new year, how about something a bit fun . . . or odd. Here are some real things that happened this past year (or recently) that I just do not get.

A Presbyterian Minister (this is the denomination to which I belong remember) had a sex change from a man to a woman only to become a lesbian. I will not even attempt a comment on the strangeness of this. Forget anything theological or sociological. It is just plain weird.

Cincinnati wide receiver Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco (Chad 8 5) his uniform number. And, yes he knows it is 8&5 not 85. I wonder if he had been drinking. Is it like the tattoo in "Margaritaville?"

Why do people fly down an acceleration ramp on the interstate only to STOP at the end. There is no stop sign there. If you act tentative, or an idiot, people will not let you out. But if you act like you know what you are doing, they do not mind being behind you. Also, why do some folks start decelerating BEFORE getting on the "deceleration ramp?"

A local radio station this year in Pittsburgh (WDVE) ran a Wet t-shirt contest . . . for men. Yes, you read that correctly. How many beers do you have to have before this is a good idea. I mean really. I do not want to even think about this any more.

Why do so many stores have you "swipe your credit card" then . . . have to give it to them. If I have to hand it to you, why not just do that at the beginning and save an entire step?

Why do so many men (I only visit men's rest rooms) scratch the language on EVERY "Baby Changing Table" to read "Baby _hanging Table?" Is this really funny?

Have you seen the Cadillac Escalade commercial where they compare the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid to the Mini Cooper in gas mileage. Uh, how much better? Is it enough to counter the $30,000 difference in price over the life of the car? I mean, really! And just for the record, a hybrid in an SUV does not count. Period. You are missing the point entirely.

MSN The Cat Man - Visit this link or watch the video posted here. Again, how many beers do you have to drink . . . and over how many years . . .

Where is the Pastor?

I was going to write about my Thanksgiving with some pictures of my grandkids, but I changed my mind. I will do that soon. I was turned onto these two videos by a couple of folks and had to put them up. Let me say this. If EITHER of these were to take place in a church I was pastoring, well it would first of all happen without my knowledge, but here is the conversation that would follow?

"Where is the Pastor? It is time for the message?"

"Isn't that his car peeling out of the parking lot?"

Video #1 - What happens when you cross Michael Jackson and show tunes and put them in church? THIS insanity happens!!! Does this guy even know what happened to Michael Jackson?

Video #2 - These guys should not be allowed to play anything on the off beat. The link HERE will take you to this one on YouTube so you can see some of the take offs on it. It would not publish for some odd reaon. It is still worth a look . . . sort of.

"Man, I can tell the Pastor is a NASCAR fan! Look at him drive"

A Couple of Post Election Thoughts

Now that some of the dust has settled and the pundits have all had their say, or have at least started their say. I have a three questions that have nagged me for years regarding both sides. No comments are necessary. Everyone knows the answers. I am an equal opportunity offender here.

Why is it that when the Republicans want to characterize someone is a negative light, they paint them "weak or un-American?" I first noticed this with George McGovern in 1972, the first election I voted in, and I will say that I did not vote for McGovern and to this day think I made the right decision, but he was painted and anything but a patriot. It was the case for Jimmy Carter, many 1980 elections, local and national and continues on today. As you know, it was a mainstay in this past presidential election.

Why is it that when the Democrats want to characterize someone is a negative light, they paint them as stupid or dumb? This has been a mainstay since Gerald Ford. It was used for Ronald Regan (who was dumb like a fox!!!), hit full stride with Dan Quayle and George Bush (dad and son) and was one of the primary attacks at Sarah Palin? It is still used in reference to Richard Nixon, whom I think may have been the most intelligent person to ever sit in the White House. He certainly lacked some common sense when dealing with the Watergate mess, but he was far more intelligent than almost everyone who paints him as stupid to this day.

Why does anyone really care what the actors in Hollywood think when it comes to an election? Other than the fact that they bring a lot of money to the table, they are no more informed than anyone else and show it with their character assassinations. Yet they get far more than their share of air time. They are entertainers, nothing more and nothing less. They are a diversion from reality, or at least a selected view of reality, not reality itself. I love all forms of theater. I have acted, directed, and written so I fully understand the value. But if we are after the views of entertainers, why are we not asking athletes (from football players to ice skaters to race car drivers) at great length for their views?

Podcasts

This past summer one of the gifts I had given to me was an iPod. It really is as good as people say.

I have started to get into several Podcasts that speak to me for different reasons. I do not agree with everything these folks say, but I love to hear them say it . . . more or less. Heck, I do not even agree with myself for long! Here is a list of some Podcasts I regularly listen to with some comments on each.

Basketball and Beyond with Coach K - This is a weekly (or so) podcast of an XM radio show hosted by Duke Basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski. He has had as guest Tony Kornheiser, Carl Weathers, Terrell Owens, and a host of basketball writers and sports figures. He has great quotes on leadership, some are found on his web site http://www.coachk.com/. Here are some quotes I really like that need little or no explanation.

"The will to win is good. Here is one better, "the will to prepare to win."
"In leadership, there are no words more important than trust. In any organization, trust must be developed among every member of the team if success is going to be achieved."
"Two are better than one if two act as one."
"A leader may be the most knowledgeable person in the world, but if the players on his team cannot translate that knowledge into action, it means nothing."
"Erect no artificial walls that might limit potential, stifle creativity, or shackle innovation."
"Leaders should be reliable without being predictable. They should be consistent without being anticipated."
"A leader has to be positive about all things that happen to his team. Look at nothing in the past as failure."

Erwin McManus and Mosaic - Los Angeles - I cannot get enough of listening to this guy. This is updated weekly or so. I must admit however, that as with the others below, I do not listen to anyone else on his staff. He pastors an incredibly diverse and creative community in LA. I had the privilege of attending his conference about 2-1/2 years ago. It was one of the best I have EVER been too.

Rob Bell and Mars Hill Bible Church - Grand Rapid, MI - An incredible communicator and a young guy (35?) who has a wonderful understanding of Scripture and its application to today.

John Ortberg and Menlo Park Presbyterian Church - Menlo Park, CA - Formerly the teaching pastor at Willow Creek, John is almost always worth the time of day.

Andy Stanley and North Point Community Church - Atlanta - Another terrific speaker. He can be a bit rigid . . . but he has a great way with Scripture.

Chuck Swindoll and Insight for Living - Here is my Classic. He has been one of my favorite "unpackers" of Scripture since . . . forever.

Thoughts on an Election

Tomorrow we go to the polls to vote for, among other things, the next President of the United States. I am always amazed at just how involved and passionate people can get over politics. If only they were that passionate over their relationship with God. But, that is not what I am writing about. Or is it?

600 years before Jesus walked on the planet, a king named Nebuchadnezzar ruled Babylon. He was perhaps one of the greatest monarchs in the history of the world. Some would argue the greatest monarch. The city he built is almost difficult for us to understand. It was so great, that its hanging gardens, hanging hundreds of feet in the air, were one of the seven wonders of the world.

In Daniel chapter 4, he has a dream that rocked his world. The long and the short of it, is that he had become so prideful in his kingdom and his accomplishments, that God decided to humble him. Actually, I believe King Nebuchadnezzar came to believe in the one true God, and this event played significantly into that. I will not write the content of the dream, you can read it, but here is what the prophet Daniel told him when he was finally asked what was to take place.

"This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree the Most High has issued against my lord the king: You will be driven away from people and will live with the wild animals; you will eat grass like cattle and be drenched with the dew of heaven. Seven times will pass by for you until you acknowledge that the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes."

Uh, yeah. God grants power to whomever he wishes. Tuesday evening, when the votes are tallied, I will remind myself that God gives power to whomever he wishes.

Sunday evening I heard a Scottish preacher say, we should remember that Jesus is indeed king. He is not elected. He does not bow to the United States, or Scotland, or Britain, or any other nation. He did not attend the Republican convention. He did not attend the Democratic one either. He is not on the side or Obama, or McCain, or Palin, or Biden. We do not vote for His power. We do not decide if He is in charge. We do not tell Him who He will allow into his kingdom. We do not tell him who He can forgive or accept or love or support. We simply are invited to join Him.

I do not know how this election will turn out. I will go vote tomorrow morning. I will be thrilled to do so. It is my privilege. It is my right. But I WILL NOT be so invested in this that I will be taken back, or bothered, or concerned, no matter who wins. And this is from a guy, who at the age of eighteen, had a ten step plan to BE president of the United States.

On the eve of an election that will determine the leader of what is arguably the most powerful nation on earth, would it not be good to be reminded that "the Most High is sovereign over the kingdoms of men and gives them to anyone he wishes?"

Next . . .

After a ton of work, I have completed my Federal Semi-annual report number 4! After completing those nearly 40 pages I am ready to go back to life.

I intend to write a few thoughts about the upcoming election from a bit different perspective in the next day or so. But for tonight, after three LATE nights I am hitting the sack. If I wrote now, you would say, "Man, this guy is totally incoherent!"

Well . . .

Leading a Conference on Marriage

This has been a hectic two month period for me. In addition to the normal duties at my job, (which included the resignation of my assistant and the search for a replacement!) we held our first marriage conference. We were thrilled to have as our plenary speakers Dr. Gary Chapman author of the bestselling book, The Five Love Languages. I have to tell you, if you are in a relationship, and have not read that book, you are doing yourself and your partner a great disservice by not reading it. It has one distinction that is remarkable for a book its age. It was first published in 1992, and has steadily sold more copies each subsequent year. That is the exact opposite of almost every book in print.

Dr. Chapman is from the same home church that I am from, so that is sort of a feather in my cap, and I did nothing to achieve it. (There are other names for that, but I will allow that to pass!) I have had nowhere close to the impact of his life however. He travels internationally, speaks to governments, military personnel, and has rubbed shoulders with presidents (Bill Clinton for example) on more than one occasion. He was a great speaker and challenged us on a level that we all could easily reach.

Our second speaker was Dr. Robert Michael Franklin, President of Morehouse College in Atlanta. Morehouse college is the alma mater of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Dr. Franklin shared with me over dinner that Moreshouse has just been given by Dr. King's widow his entire writings that have been sitting in her basement all these years. Some of that should prove fascinating after they are transcribed and place into public awareness.

You learn a lot from running these conferences, and I have run many over the years. You learn a lot about people and a lot about yourself. One thing I was thrilled with was the opportunity to sit over dinner and learn from two men who I hold in high esteem. To them it was a business dinner but for me it was much more. I learned so much from both men without them even realizing it.

My Two October 2nd Heroes

We live in a time when hero is a cheap word. We throw it around fast and loose. It is applied to persons in a TV series, fictional characters in a movie or comic book, a sports personality, a politician, or any number of individuals.

Here is how Webster even defines it: a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability b: an illustrious warrior c: a person admired for their achievements and noble qualities d: one that shows great courage

That may indeed be an actual definition, but I have to be honest here, I do not think it truly gets at what we mean when we say someone is a hero. It seems to me, that a hero is someone that looks out for someone else, cares for someone else, protects someone else, or even rescues someone else often (usually?) at great price to themselves.

I have THREE GREAT CHILDREN. I love them all three dearly and equally, and at some point you will read about them all. But on this day, I want to go on a distinct direction relating to one of them.

October 2nd is a very important day for me. It is the birthday of my grandson Gavin. I have five other wonderful grandchildren and I love them all dearly. Words cannot come close. Gavin, however, is in many ways my second son. Legally, he is indeed my son. Although he is my grandson and calls me Granddad he is much more. You see, Gavin had so many things stacked against him. His father abandoned his mother while she was still pregnant with him. That contributed greatly to the fact that he has lost both of his grandparents on both sides. His paternal grandparents are lost due to no relationship with his father, of his father’s choosing. He lost his maternal grandparents in many respects because they fill the parental role in his life.

Gavin approaches life like I believe I did as a child. He has a reckless abandon to enjoy living, just for the sake of living. He relishes every moment of every day. This great little kid, has a growth hormone deficiency and has to have an injection EVERY DAY. How many five year olds get that? The list is very short, I am sure. He takes it every day with almost no grief. His new phrase referring to kids who mock his short size is, “I am tougher than they think I am!” I absolutely love it!

Well, today Gavin is six years old. Happy Birthday Gavin my little man, you are my hero.

Gavin is not her alone however. His mother, my youngest daughter, Lori Beth, is another of my heroes. She became pregnant at the age of 19 and her boyfriend abandoned her in every way that a person can be abandoned. She was 19, pregnant and without any support from the person who provided the genetic material and should have been there for her.

Every reader here knows full well, that she could have taken the easy route, had an abortion, and I would have never known . . . unless she told me. But . . . she . . . did . . . not. She carried this little boy to term; then gave him up to my wife and I to adopt to provide health care, a solid home, and all the rest. She did not have to do that. I am sure many of her friends counseled her to simply terminate the pregnancy. But . . . she . . . did . . . not. The power that must have taken is beyond me. She was talked about, gossiped about, discussed, criticized, had her character impugned and who knows what all. It came many times from the very church family that should have supported her. But she saw this pregnancy to term, in the midst of odds you and I probably could never understand.

I intend to tell Gavin on day, that his mother is a hero. She saved his life . . . literally! She had it in her power to end it and chose not to. She did the hardest thing any woman could ever do in all likelihood and saved her son’s life at great expense to herself.

Lori Beth, my dear sweet daughter you are my hero. And on this October 2nd as your son reaches his sixth birthday, I am reminded of just that. I love you and I am more proud of you than I could ever express in words.

Praying for Bill Maher

Sorry for not writing much this week. I have been in Minnesota for a training upgrade for my PREPARE/ENRICH certification. I may write about that sometime. It is perhaps the best research based relationship study ever done that can accurately predict what area could potentially cause a couple to be at high risk for divorce. But not now.

While waiting for one session to start, I watched on the TV (a very cool flat screen high definition TV I might add!) an older interview with comedian/political commentarian/satirist/fill-in-the-blank Bill Maher. It was mostly about his movie Religulous. In the course of this interview with a couple of movie reviewers, Maher began to talk about his TV show and his penchant for attacking religious individuals. He stated, and I am not being unfair here at all in my comments, that he often gets accused of only bringing the "extremist" in religion onto his show and attacking them. He brings in the caricature of a bad Christian, per se, and lets them have it. He has been told that he does not bring in the "balanced" religious individual to show the "other side."

He then made this statement, and this is almost verbatim, "That is true but it really is not true. It is my contention that if you are religious AT ALL you are an extremist. It goes against all of our normal senses and all of our normal rational thinking. If you are religious on any level . . . you are an extremist."

Now, I could instantly hear some of my Christian friends getting all worked up, wanting to rant and write him. I did not. There was a time that I may have done so, but I am just a bit older now and think my words a bit more. I did not feel any anger or anything of the sort. You know what I thought? I felt my heart go out to Bill Maher. I really felt compassion for him

He actually seems like the sort of guy I would enjoy being around and enjoy having as a friend . . . most of the time anyway. I then prayed for him. I really did. I honestly, earnestly, and sincerely prayed for him. I thought to myself, "I really wish I could build a friendship with him and let him see someone who has more warts than he could shake a stick at, but who really is genuine in his "Christian extremism." That will never happen. But, take it for what it is, that is what happened to me last week.

Life's Necessities . . . Or Are They Conveniences?

This has been a very hectic week for Kay, Gavin and me. Ike came through here. Yep, what was Hurricane Ike ripped through here on Sunday evening. It took out our electricity until this evening as it destroyed trees and who knows what all. We lost every bit of the food in our refrigerators. My office still has no electricity. No phone. No Internet. No Email. It could not have come at a worse time with our national conference this week. But we all survived. We did not lose our roof or have sea water on the second floor of the house like the folks in Texas. At least there was food in the fridge and more at the store one half mile away.

As we lived without electricity, I was reminded of just how much we get hooked on these modern marvels. I was one of the very early Internet surfers while living in TN. I remember in the late 1980s (or was it early 1990s) getting online via Prodigy dial up at a speed about one quarter as fast as 14.4. I watched the screen paint line by line when I would connect. I was a part of an early Duke Basketball Bulletin Board that ultimately morphed into the Duke Basketball Report, the number one college fan site of any sport in the nation. I remember purchasing a PC that had a 40 MB hard drive and thinking, "I will never need more than this." It had a menu program that had Windows 3.1 as one of its options. I used it for a game or two. That was about all. I did all of my work with DOS commands. YIKES! (What does DOS stand for anyway?) Was I ever a prophet! That machine cost more than the laptop I am now using that has 3 GB of memory! A good friend of mine then, Ken Hill helped me immensely. Wow, Ken. Look at me now!

Anyway, life was so different when it was dark and there was no electricity. The other night as I tried to read by candle light . . . then flash light . . . then cell phone light, I thought, "Man, Abe Lincoln was tough!" I then said, "Wow, God. Thanks for the conveniences (and that is what they are) that make my life, easy and enjoyable."

Faith Based Funding

I have served in ministry in one setting or another, one style or another for over 30 years. It is in my blood. I cannot walk away from it, try as I might. It influences every decision I make, right or wrong, up or down, cooperate with my conscience and the Spirit or violate that cooperation. (And I have done both quite well thank you very much!) It is a factor in most of my conversations on some level.

At present I serve in a Faith Based organization (TWOgether Pittsburgh) that is receiving Federal Funding on the oft-named, usually misrepresented, always misquoted, “Faith Based Initiatives” on Healthy Relationships and Marriage from Washington, DC. It is so closely aligned to President Bush that it is often criticized by opponents for that reason alone. (I intend to write on GWB and my views later. I think he has been unjustly vilified, and blamed for some things not of his doing. I have not agreed with him on many items. I think he has made some serious blunders, but shoot SO HAVE I!!! I think history will be much kinder to him as a president that the present is. But, I digress . . .)

The media has taken to calling these funding options “Faith Based Initiatives” I think to make them seem “religious right,” or “less than high quality,” or just to get at the President. In reality, the support is fairly bi-partisan on Capitol Hill and from the White House. When we gather in DC we hear from speakers of both parties.

“Faith Based Initiatives” or Faith Based Federal funding is really nothing new. They are being listed as such, but that is not true. Catholic Charities, Jewish Community Centers, etc. have received Federal dollars to provide social services since the 1960s. The new piece is that Conservative Christian groups are involved in receiving funding now. But, this is nothing new.

Our programs do not talk about faith. They are Marriage and Relationship Education skills training classes. We use nationally recognized best practices. We are closely scrutinized by the Federal Government and other independent sources, some of whom agree, some who violently disagree with us. We are fully and independently evaluated. We undergo a Federally Mandated Single Audit process annually. We have to raise 10% of our funding, one dollar to match every ten funded by the government. We complete regular detailed reports of our activities. We operate with integrity in not using tax payer dollars to promote faith. There is no worship, no Bible study, no praying, no coercion into Christianity in these programs. We meet folks wherever they are. We are a demonstration grant to see “What works.” We seek to address relational concerns, not cram the Bible down someone’s throat. (And I will take a back seat to no one on how seriously I take the Bible. But let’s be honest, people to not divorce over theology!)

This is important stuff . . . really. In the last five years, the war in Iraq has cost the US taxpayer $500 Billion dollars. With a “B.” Forget how you feel about it; that is the cost of the war. Over that same time period the monetary cost to taxpayers due to the breakup of the family has been $560 Billion.

Yes, you read that correctly. $560 Billion. $112 Billion dollars a year. $60 Billion per year MORE than the War in Iraq. But it does not get the same amount press.

Here are the facts. The report quantifies for the first time the astounding cost to governments from family fragmentation. Work of this sort not only makes sociological sense to our culture, it just makes good financial sense to our nation.

All this being said, I listen and read intently when each candidate talks about their view on this funding. I did it during Rick Warren’s interview. I do when they are on CNN, or Fox, or MSNBC or wherever. I have a personal interest. It is my job, but I am not getting rich off the government, believe me! My salary is a matter of public record, and I would venture to guess most of you out earn me.

It troubles me to hear or read one candidate saying, “programs that have been less than effective.” Who is feeding him this? Where is he getting this information, or misinformation? We are being very effective and documenting it as we progress. I have mixed feelings when both candidates say increase spending in this arena. It could make the work harder and come under even more scrutiny. Well, that is hard to imagine actually we are scrutinized so closely as it is, but anything is possible.

As I have said and will say, this is an important election and maybe more than any other in recent years, we need to really see what each is saying, and how they act in accordance with that.

Point of Personal Privilege #2

I stated on my last entry that we now have six grandchildren. In that I posted a photo of my son Richard and his wife Priscilla along with their three children. So, after today you can see all my children and their children.

This is my oldest child Alyssa and her husband John along with their two children Téah and Micah. This picture was taken this summer on their vacation at the Outer Banks with John's parents.
Here is my youngest daughter Lori Beth and her son Gavin. This picture is a bit old. It was taken a few years ago at her brother's wedding, but it is a really good picture of her. I think both of my daughters are very lovely, but then, I am a bit biased.

Finally, here are some more recent pictures of Gavin, taken this morning as he boarded the bus for his first day of kindergarten. Yep, that is a Go Diego Go! backpack.

Point of Personal Privilege

One of the items at denominational meetings that usually ticks me off, is when someone rises to say, "Point of Personal Privilege," during the business meeting. It is just a nice way of getting to say what you want about someone you like while circumventing the Roberts Rules process . . .

So-o-o, here I go "Point of Personal Privilege."

We just got back from Tennessee visiting our son and his family. They just welcomed our sixth grandchild (MAN!! Am I old or what?!) It was great to see them and their three (so far!) kids.

Here is a picture of the family. Richard, Priscilla, Gideon (center) Elliotte (left) and Eden the newest in Richard's arms. Yep. I am proud.

I will probably take another "Personal Privilege Day" tomorrow to post some pictures of my other Grandkids and their parents as well. I will get back to commentary soon. Either enjoy it or get over it.

Saddleback and the Presidency

Last evening (late on rerun since I was at my granddaughter's third BD party) I watched the question / answer by each presidential candidate by Rick Warren at Saddleback Church in California. I was intrigued.

I truly wanted to hear what each candidate has to say. One of the reasons is that I am truly on the fence for this presidential election. (Some Christians are promoting not voting as a way out. To which I say, if you do not vote, shut up. I do not care what you think.) I am not overly excited by either candidate. To be totally honest, I have not been excited by a candidate since 1984, but that is another story for another time. Another reason I was intrigued was to hear what questions Warren would ask and how he would handle himself. I share a lot of his passions (such as passion for Jesus, for the poor and for the HIV/AIDS pandemic.) It was as I expected and not as I expected.

There were some very good questions asked. There were also some softballs tossed in there. By and large, I thought Rick Warren handled himself and presented the Christian side with intelligence, humor, taste, toughness, kindness and grace. Considering who he was interviewing it was handled very well. At times he could not contain he pleasure or displeasure with an answer, but how is that different than any other interviewer at any other time? For the most part I was pleased with Warren. I was actually very impressed that HE was the first one, out of all the news making heavy hitters to get both candidates on the same stage at the same time. My favorite question: "Which supreme court justice would you not have nominated?" Brilliant.

There were some very good and thoughtful answers given by both candidates. There was also so posturing, some dodging and some twisting by both. These are politicians I had to remind myself. At times I felt both candidates were dodging and trying to avoid answering directly.Obama on the Faith Based items and McCain on the "rich" question as two examples. I felt both at times played to the audience, McCain a little more so, but both did. McCain at times wanted it to be a rally it appeared. Obama also seemed to do so with his, "God is in the mix," comment.

Both candidates took the same side on some issues for the most part. I liked Obama's answer on a constitutional amendment for gay marriage. I agree with a man and a woman making up a marriage. Also, as he stated, marriage has always been a state issue, and I am a big states rights person. I liked McCain's pushing it further by saying if the courts try to make one state abide by another state's law on the matter, he would favor an amendment. That is sort of where I have been myself. I am not in favor of national law if it can be averted. I was pleased (mostly) with both men talking about protecting the civil rights of homosexual persons. What many miss is that if you remove the rights of one person, it is a short step to removing yours.

Many questions were thoughtful as were many answers. They ranged from stem cell research, to faith based organizations receiving federal dollars to abortion. I will probably share some more over the upcoming days, but for now I would encourage you to read the transcript here.

As both men said, this is an important election. We need to do our homework. Thank goodness there is some time left.

Get Rhythm

What do these songs have in common?

Walk of Life
New Years Day
Here I Go Again
Crazy Train
Glory Days
Eye of the Tiger
Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2
Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around
Go Your Own Way
Back on the Chain Gang

I am in Washington, D.C. for a four day conference relating to our grant. While here I have availed myself of the gym facilities at the hotel. Each of the four days I have gotten on the elliptical machine (I much prefer it to running since it places less stress on the joints) for cardio and did some weight training. I did not realize how much I missed a workout in the gym, and the consistency of an exercise routine. I used to do it religiously, no pun intended. Events have caused me to let it slack. I made a promise to myself that I would indeed correct this, along with my biking on a more regular fashion.

Now, what do those songs have in common, besides the fact that each is considered Classic Rock? Each of them gives you a great beat, a great rhythm to use on an elliptical machine while exercising. The beats are distinct from one another giving you a varied pace and the varied push on your heart that is conducive to a productive and healthy workout.

Our lives are meant for rhythm. God designed us that way. God designed the universe that way. 24 hours in a day. Seven days in every week. 30 or so days in each month. 365 days in a year (with minor corrective exceptions). Day then night then day then night. Rest, wake, work, play, talk, sleep.

Rhythm

What gives rhythm to your life? The business of our life can crowd out healthy rhythms sometimes. It can cause us to lose one or more of the important elements of rhythm in our lives.

So the question is, not only, where do we get the rhythm for our life, but where do we need to correct, or balance the rhythm in our life? I just mentioned one of mine. There are more. Where are yours?

Oh, BTW - the musically astute reader will recognize that Get Rhythm was one of Johnny Cash’s early hits. Hm-m-m, it would do pretty well on the elliptical too.

Stopping at the Bottom of the Hill

My grandson Gavin loves the movie “Cars.” He is troubled that the cars have no eyebrows, but nonetheless, he loves that animated feature. Truth be told, so do I. The musical sound track is actually pretty cool too. You get Cheryl Crow, James Taylor, John Mayer, Hank Williams and Chuck Berry in the same place.

You also get a very cool song by Rascal Flatts entitled “Life is a Highway.” One phrase in the song reads:

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

“Sometimes you turn your back to the wind.” Is that not a very descriptive phrase?

I am a cyclist. I love riding my bicycle. I do not do it as much as I should now, but boy do I love it. However, I digress.

I have ridden my bike in all kinds of terrain. I have ridden the Blue Ridge Parkway (the entire 480 miles), Skyline Drive (all 105 miles three separate times.) I have also ridden hundreds of miles while on vacation at the beach. While at the beach I love the feeling that comes when your back is to the wind. It is like a huge hand is on your back giving you an assist that cannot be fully described. So when I hear those lines in the Rascal Flatts song that is the image that comes to my mind.

As I said, I have ridden a variety of terrain. If you read the locations, you noticed the mountainous territories on the list. There is a daunting feeling that comes over you when you approach the bottom of a hill and realize that you will be going uphill for miles. (One hill on the Blue Ridge is seven miles long!) The thrill of feeling your back to the wind is incredible. However, the thrill that comes from cresting a hill after a long hard climb is even more exhilarating. Words could hardly do this feeling of accomplishment justice. If I were to stop when approaching the hill and dismount I would miss that thrill. I have done just that.

Last week, while attending a two day conference, I had no less than tem individuals chastise me for not writing here. It was not intended as chastisement, or maybe it was. If so, it was received exactly as it was intended in the best sense. One person said something to this effect, “Terry, you have something worth saying. You have something worth writing. Stop depriving the rest of us of your gift that God has clearly given you.”

Ouch. And thank you.

Oh yeah, as much as I like the “back to the wind feeling,” or “the cresting the hill feeling,” my FAVORITE feeling on my bike is screaming downhill. I have gone 59 miles per hour downhill on those tiny tires! I absolutely love it. Guess what? If I do not climb; I do not cresting and I get no downhill. So, it is time for me to start climbing.

I accept the words from others as God speaking to me. I will not go into all that has happened, my fault or not, to cause me to stop. It really does not matter. I will just accept the words of admonishment and act accordingly. I will get back on the bike and climb the hill.

Stop It

If you have neve seen the "Stop It" video . . . you must, you simply must!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE

Bob Newhart is a comic genius.

What are we doing to ourselves?

I attended a viewing at a funeral home yesterday. It was the viewing of a 19 year old African American male who was shot a week ago in what appears to have gang connections. I talked to his uncle, who is a friend of mine who teaches African American Studies at Pitt, and learned that this you man had several uncles in his family who are engineers, and one uncle (great uncle?) who played a major role in putting a man on the moon.

As I stood there talking to them, I commented, "What are we doing to ourselves as a people?" I realize there are white on white killings, and hispanic on hispanic killings, but nothing on the order that is taking place in the African American community. We are losing vast portions of an entire generations of young black males? How on earth are we as a people going to replace these men and their minds? Their contributions to society are being lost forever to humanity. As I talked to the African American pastor who was to perform the funeral, he agreed and said, "The cure for cancer may be laying over their in that casket."

Sobering thought.

In Africa we are losing a generation of young adults, in the prime of life, to the ravages of HIV/AIDS and in America we are losing a generation of young men, in the prime of life, to one another. The loses are the same.

What are we doing to ourselves? What can we do to address this atrocity?

Leadership

In my teachings over the years, I have often said that Passover connection aside (and that is a huge aside I realize) if Jesus were instituting the Lord's Supper today, it may be done with Pizza and Coke.

If that is the case, and for me it is on some level . . .

Jesus used the word "shepherd" when talking about the church because culturally that is the word that would be understood. I have heard churches for years making this the way they refer to their pastor. Yes, I am fully aware that the Greek word for pastor actually means shepherd. But hear me out.

Why did he use that word in the first place. It spoke to the people about what it meant to lead the people of God. It was totally counter to the use of the word "priest" as in the Old Testament where the leader was above the people. It envisioned a leader who cared for those he/she led. A person who identfied with them. They were, in many respects, was a part of them. They lived with them as they cared for them.

If He were speaking today, what word would He use? Would it be "Leader?" In our culture could that word carry the meaning he would want to convey? It was available 2,000 years ago and it was used differently in the New Testament than Shepherd.

But for today . . . I am just wondering, what word would Jesus use.

The Eagles - Long Road Out of Eden

Picked up the new Eagles CD the other week. It was one of those only at Walmart $11.88 deals. It is 20 original studio songs by the original band guys. It is the best $12 I have spent in many a year. It is visually and musically and lyrically and incredible piece of work. The lyrics are powerful, the music is off the charts and even the artwork on the cover and booklet is amazing. This CD reminds you of why the Eagles are one of the best vocal bands ever!!! The vocals are so tight and right on.

I have literally listened to it 50 times already. There are (as is always the case) one or two songs that do not really hit it, but out of the 20 . . . there are 17 at least that knock your socks off.

"Granddad, I'm Scared."

Living with a 4-year old at this stage of my life has me noticing things that I might have missed at another age. Two nights ago I was awakened at around 1:30 am by this tiny voice (that I usually love to hear!) saying "Granddad, I'm scared."

I was instantly wide awake and said, "Come on Gavin. Get in the bed with me." (Now that alone is a unique event. Years ago I may have not even heard him!) After crawling into bed beside me Gavin said, "There is a monster outside my window." We then dialogued about said monster until he fell back asleep. An hour or so later, I returned him to his own bed where he remained (as he usually does) the remainder of the night. The next day, we talked about the event and how real it actually was for him.

As I reflected on that event over the next day or so, I was taken back to my own childhood. I recall quite often at a very early age lying in my bed deathly afraid of "whatever" but also too afraid to go see my own father and tell him I was "scared." (The reasons for that are varied and not the purpose of this entry.) As I thought about that event, I was suddenly aware that I was smiling. Riding alone in my car . . . and smiling. I was smiling because Gavin felt okay coming to me in the middle of the night to tell me he was "scared."

For millennia Christians have referred to God as "Father," but do we feel the freedom to go to him and say "Daddy, I'm scared."

This is the exact idea in Romans 8 Paul had when he wrote that the Spirit allows us to move forward in spite of fear and say Abba, Father. Scholars quickly recognize that the word "Abba" was an Aramaic word in that day with no real English equivalent. It was a term of endearment best deemed, "Daddy.," Paul is saying that when we are afraid, we can go to our heavenly father and say "Daddy, I'm scared."

What are you facing? What is your biggest fear at this moment. What monsters wake you in the middle of the night? What drives you to fear? Can you . . . do you . . . go to your loving heavenly Father (and all that is good about that word and nothing that is bad about it) and say "Daddy, I'm scared."

Right now . . . I could sure use that. I am sure many of you could as well.

Red Dirt Road

Country music is not my favorite music. I have no dislike of it. In reality I was raised listening almost exclusively to it with my father. I was able to see many of the old time country music greats (George Jones, Bill Anderson, Johnny Cash, Tammy Wynette, Buck Owens, Carl Smith, Loretta Lynn, Kitty Wells, the list could on) in the mid 60's live with my Mom and Dad.

Now, I am just basically a rock and roll fan.

That being said, I think country musicians are the best story tellers as song writers. (I write that in spite of the old joke about backward masking country music getting your truck, girl, and dog back.) In my opinion, the only music to come close was the old R&B in the late 60's and early 70's. There were some great stories woven in there as well!

Two years ago, while on my flight to Africa, I came across a song by the country duet Brooks and Dunn. The song gripped me like only a song can do. It held my attention the entire flight over on the in-seat music programming, and did the same on the return flight. That song is entitled Red Dirt Road. It tells the story of an aspect of the author's childhood and his outlook on life. In many respects it could be my story. (Full lyrics are below.)

This weekend I will be driving to North Carolina, where I was born to perform my baby brother's wedding. (He is 46 years old.) I will be traveling with my grandson Gavin. He and I have made this trip a couple of times now. I left NC in 1976 at the age of 22 and have never lived there since. It is still HOME in many respects. And for the first time last fall, I felt a tinge of homesickness on a return trip. Many things played into it, at that time, but feel it I did.

As I thought about that experience, and my song experience with Red Dirt Road, I tied it to something I have been trying to do for some time. I have been wanting to get a tattoo. I have wanted one that connected me with my heritage as a southerner. In my later years, I am more proud of that than I have ever been. Over the last decade I had many ideas of what the tattoo should be, but nothing fit or it could have been misconstrued and been offensive to someone. Thus it never happened. But now it will. I have chosen what the tattoo will be. (I am not about to tell you what it is now!) I am making plans for my tattoo and preparing to visit my old stomping grounds. It will for me be a Red Dirt Road sort of experience.

===============

Red Dirt Road
by Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn

I was raised off of Route Three
Out where the blacktop ends.
We'd walk to Church on Sunday mornings,
Race barefoot back to Johnson's fence.
That's where I first saw Mary,
On that roadside pickin' blackberries.
That summer I turned a corner in my soul,
Down that red dirt road.

It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car: I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,Of that red dirt road.

Her Daddy didn't like me much,
In my shackled up GTO.
Oh, I'd sneak out in the middle of the night,
Throw rocks at her bedroom window.
We'd turn out the headlights,
Drive by the moonlight.
Talk about what the future might hold,
Down that red dirt road.It's where I drank my first beer.

It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.

I went out into the world,
An' I came back in.
I lost Mary: Oh, I got her back again.
An' drivin' home tonight,
Feels like I've found a long-lost friend.

It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.

Kodachrome

As I have begun to look on the process of my blogging, I have had to do some serious evaluating. When I first began doing this in 2005, it was meant as a means to help the church where I was serving as Pastor. Since I am no longer in that position, it has caused no small amount of consternation. It has caused me to ask such questions as:

• "What is the purpose of doing this?"
• "Why should I continue?"
• "Should I continue?"
• "Does anyone read it?"
• "Does it really matter if they do not?"

While pondering this I have come to compare this stuggle with the lyrics of the Paul Simon song circa 1973 Kodachrome. The song sums up a lot of the message with the lyric "Everything looks worse in black and white." (The entire lyrics are below.) Simon seems to be saying we color things in our mind to be a certain way, and when we see them as they really are it is not very pretty. Let me keep the colorized version.

I have come to think that the writing of this blog is actually like that. I have been viewing it through Kodachrome eyes and when I really look at it in black and white, it is not that pretty. In reality, much of what is said here really does not matter to those who read or do not read it. I am only kidding myself to think otherwise. I am sure the content of the writing has revealed that very stuggle.

As I have pondered this issue (while mowing the lawn, or on a long bike ride) I have come to a conclusion. It can best be summarized like this: I am actually writing for me. It is my outlet. I really cannot be doing this in the hopes that someone else reads it or likes it or is changed by it. Truthfully . . . in black and white . . . I write for the same reason every great and not-so-great writer in all of history has written. "I have something I want to say" and this just so happens is one of my venues.

So . . . my writing will change . . . or not. But I will be doing this because I really want to say something and leave whatever happens, or does not happen, to others.

==============

Kodachrome
by Paul Simon

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonderI can think at all
And though my lack of education hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall

Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day
Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away

If you took all the girls I knew when I was single
And brought them all together for one night
I know they'd never match my sweet imagination
everything looks worse in black and white

Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day
Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away

Mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Mama don't take my Kodachrome away

The Death of Jerry Falwell

I know. I know. I know.

With the passing of Jerry Falwell there will be no end of folks lining up to take pot shots at him and the "religious right." I have no intentions of doing any such thing.

Did I agree with all of his theology? Did I agree with all of his politics? Did I agree with all of his methods? Do I agree with yours? Do you agree with mine?

The answer to ALL of these questions is, of course, "No."

In spite of the areas where I disagreed with Jerry Falwell, I would like to point out one area where I did agree and he actually did Christians a major service. He taught us to GET INVOLVED IN OUR CULTURE. You may not have liked what he did or how he did it, but at least he got off his duff and did something.

Personally, I cannot always say the same thing. I will wager, that neither can you.

If I do not approve of his issues . . . then pick my own issues.

If I do not agree with his stances . . . then take my own stance.

If I do not think his attitude was always loving . . . then by God's grace let me be loving.

Jerry Falwell is a hero to some and a villian to others. I do not really know what your opinion is on this one. And I will guess, you do not care what mine is, so I will not state it (especially since it is not simple and clean cut.) But ALL of us can learn from him that as Christians we should become involved in our culture and not simply sit on the sidelines and take pot shots at it.

Which unfortunately is all most of us actually do I fear. At least he did not simply do that. He tried in his way to get involved and make a difference.

I wish I could do that half as well.