Axiom #9: Gnats and Sledgehammers

Since I am from the south, I have plenty of pithy maybe even pregnant sayings. It just comes with the territory. I have had dozens of folks tell me I should be writing these things down. Some are easy to grasp their meaning, such as “Don’t look at me like a calf at a new gate.” Others take a bit of time to grasp exactly what is being said like, “Ain’t no flies on me.”

One saying that I have translated into a leadership principle is “Don’t kill a gnat with a sledgehammer.” The point is pretty obvious. Be careful of overkill. Do not use a machine gun when a flyswatter will do. Use the appropriate means of dealing with a situation. Choose the correct tool for the job.

I am sure many folks reading this are thinking, “Well, you certainly have a penchant for stating the obvious.” Maybe. But I cannot tell you how often this is violated from leadership perspectives. How often do we make grand announcements and proclamations on a global scale when a simple one on one conversation would have done quite nicely. Have you ever seen a ball coach chew a player out publicly in order to “make a point?” When you witnessed that, have you ever wondered why he did not have a private conversation with the player? Relationships go a lot further that way usually.

Years ago in a place where I was working, one of the employees made the mistake of leaving the window to their office open at night during the fall. The office was a bit chilly the next morning. Rather than just going to the person and saying “Hey Jack, last night you forget to close the window and it was pretty cold in here this morning. Be careful.” The company passed a full edict about the importance of closing the windows to your office at night. Was that the appropriate tool for that event? Maybe. Maybe not.

In another environment where I was the senior leader, while working on a Personnel Policy Manual revision, we made a big decision. I was seeking some flexibility in dealing with employees and their individual situations. One of my team members was a labor attorney. She made a suggestion that really got our attention. Why don’t we take the entire 20 page policy and break it down to what is really needed, vacations, sick days, etc. She said, “Anything you put in print you are accountable for.” With her advice and our agreement, we took the entire policy down to a 6-8 page booklet. It covered all that was legally necessary in our state and allowed me flexibility. I know this does not translate to all situations, but in our case we were seeking the appropriate tool.

It has been said, “If all you have is a hammer, the whole world becomes a nail.” Perhaps that is why some leaders only use harsh means to motivate; it is the only tool in their arsenal. They have only been trained in the proper use of a sledgehammer, so it is what they use to get the job done. I recognize, there are times when someone needs to be called into account for their actions, but should that not be the exception rather than the rule?

Axiom #8: Performance

Let me introduce this by referencing a story in Axiom #7. In that post I quoted the general manager of the company I worked for when he said, “Terry, one of the things I like the best about working with you, is that once I ask you to do something, or assign you a task, I can totally forget about it. It will get done. I will not hear from you unless, you either need my assistance in some way or the task is complete. Terry, you make me look good.”

That encapsulates exactly how I handle a lot of my management, which is quite distinct from my leadership I might add. Leadership involves vision, direction, support, guidance, assistance, and any number of other things. Management involves more of the day to day operations necessary to keep things moving in the direction of the vision.

With my present staff, and every person I have supervised over the years, I have tried to tell them the same thing in my expectations of them. If I have expectation of you, I will be sure you know it. But then I expect YOU to do it. If you need my assistance, my advice, my suggestions, my support, my ability to run interference for you, or any number of other things I can do for you to make you more effective, I will give it to you. I make that commitment to you. But I do not want to do your job. I want you to do it. I may check in, and ask how it is going privately and in staff meetings, and offer mine or others assistance if needed. But if I have to do your job, why are you here?

I have had to follow up with men and women with a variety of methods. If you are not able to do your job, let’s address it. Maybe your need skills training. Maybe some coaching will help. Maybe your time management skills are lacking. Maybe your prioritization skills need honing. Do you believe in our direction and mission? If not, can you come to agree with it? Whatever the issue is, let’s address it.

If after attempting to address them, it does not get better, then maybe this is not working out. Maybe we are not a good fit. Maybe for the good of everyone involved, we need to make a personnel change. Those decisions are always painful, never easy, but are sometimes required. If you are not willing to make this call, after much work, assistance, and prayer, do not sit in the leader’s chair. It comes with the territory and there is no way anyone can prepare you for just how gut wrenching those times are going to be. If you have an ounce of compassion at all, you will probably lose some sleep and see your appetite drop. No matter how you slice it, it is no fun. If you can make this sort of life impacting decision without great concern for the individual affected, I wonder if you are really the leader you should be. It is far more than being a task master.

I think it goes one step further. Maybe we are hurting the employee. If this is not a good fit, if he or she cannot do what this job requires, are we really doing them any favors by keeping them on board? Sure, it is hurting the organization and affecting the productivity of the team, but what is it doing for him or her? They are no doubt unhappy and unfulfilled. Maybe for their sake they need to be in a location that is better suited to their skills. How can they grow as a human being in a situation that is not suited for them?

When I speak of my present staff, I have often said, the key to my success is I have hired good people and then gotten out of their way. But that leads to one final word. You cannot be “dumping” work on another person no matter how good they are. There is a great chasm between “dumping” and “delegating.” This is something many leaders have yet to learn. Do not give something to another person just because you do not want to do it. That is never an appropriate reason. You may give it to them because they can do it better than you, or they enjoy it, or you see it as a growth opportunity for them thereby making it a leadership decision, but do not simply dump on them. No human deserves that.

As with the “No Surprises,” I realize there are all many variations and shades of gray in this axiom. There are times when you have to “sit on” an employee. But those should be the exceptions. Give them the freedom to perform, and then expect performance. If you have the right people in place, they will do just that.

Axiom #7: No Surprises

When you begin to read the available literature on leadership one of the themes you will grasp pretty quickly is that there are several ways to break down leadership styles. It is defined by personality, habits, technique, behavior, expectations and any number of other means. One way I feel you can “caricature leadership” is by the tension between being a micro manager as opposed to a more permission giving styled leader.

Let me be honest here, this is one of my personal pet peeves. It is the one item in leadership that sets me off more quickly than any other. And in my present ministry/leadership/management position where we are funded in large part with Federal dollars via a grant, it is a personal struggle. My wife could tell you many stories about my rants regarding this issue. It is the exact same thing I resist in denominational structures in church. But that is another story entirely.

As a way of introducing this, let me relay three stories.

In the mid 80’s to early 90’s while I was still working bi-vocationally in ministry and corporate, I recall working with my superior, the General Manger of the private company. He was the only person above me in the entire company, and oddly enough I had his ear on things relating to our business and I had his trust. I will call him George . . . well, because that is his name. He told me in one meeting, “Terry, one of the things I like the best about working with you, is that once I ask you to do something, or assign you a task, I can totally forget about it. It will get done. I will not hear from you unless, you either need my assistance in some way or the task is complete. Terry, you make me look good.”

As I look back on that incident, that quite possibly is the highest praise I have ever received from an employer. This Axiom will help understand why.

In a later position I was relatively new and still refining my working relationship with my senior colleague. After about 3 to 4 months, I was feeling micromanaged. I recall going into his office and asking for a few minutes. I then closed the door and relayed what I was experiencing at his hand. I then said something to this effect. “I am not saying that you are wrong or you should change or you do not have the right to manage in whatever style you desire. I am not passing any sort of value judgment on you. You have the right to manage as you see fit. What I am saying is that if that is how you desire to manage me, you have the wrong guy, and I need to begin looking at how to make a transition. He apologized for appearing to do this and we never had a struggle with it again. We had other heated discussions on style, philosophy or details but I continued to prove my worth, my loyalty and my support of him as my boss.

Third story. A subsequent superior was guilty of a similar thing, the exact details of which are not important. I said to him, “Let me tell you a story.” I then relayed the above incident. He said, “I get your point,” and the issue was closed and was never a problem.

Now, if you stop reading at this point and do not complete this Axiom, please forget everything you read above. It is totally worthless without what I am about to say.

In each meeting above I told my supervisor something to this effect. I will not surprise you. I will keep you on a “need to know” basis . . . in the best use of that phrase. I will make absolutely sure you know anything and everything you need to know. If there is anything that may come back on you, I will tell you. If there is anything that is a ministry/company impacting issue, you will know. I will make sure you hear everything that is taking place that you need to hear. You do not need to be involved in the minutia of operations in my job. And you really do not want to be I am sure. But I promise you I will make sure you do know everything you need to know. If I have a doubt, I will tell you. It may be a 2-minute hall meeting. It may be a scheduled ninety minute sit down meeting. But you will know. You may not hear from me on items for weeks on end. Do not take that to mean anything. It means things are running as you want them to.

I then work very hard to live up to that. I realize there are all many variations and shades of gray here, and I am not going to get into that here, but I firmly live by this axiom and it has served me and the companies/ ministries I serve quite well.

Axiom #6: Change Had Better Happen

Anyone who has known me for more than five minutes will probably attest to the fact that I embrace change with fervor. I have had more than one staff member of mine tell me that my motto is the oft repeated adage, “If it ain’t broke . . . break it!”
Guilty as charged.

When I completed the hiring of my present staff I told them in one of our early staff meetings to keep me in check in regard to change. Ask me why I am changing something. I know myself well enough to know that I will change something just for the sake of changing. As I said above, “Guilty.”

But . . . but . . . but . . . hear me out.

I will write an Axiom later on the value of a mentor. I have had two men, both ministers, whom I would call mentors in my life. The first of those was Richard Horn. He was the pastor of the church I attended when I “felt the call” “decided to” (pick your language) go into ministry as an occupation. I will tell some of that later, but for now, it is only important to know that he was important enough in my life, that my son Richard is named for him. That church was Landis Baptist Church, and it had a profound impact upon me. In many ways, one of the elders in that church is responsible for saving my life in almost every way it could be saved.

Early on when Pastor Horn and I were talking about ministry he said something to me that was astonishing for a 22 year old man to hear. He said, “Terry, if you believe the same thing in five years that you believe now, you are backslidden.”

Now don’t go all semantic on my and start quibbling about the language. And don’t make him to have said more than he said. He was not talking about core faith issues, Jesus, Scripture, a compassion for the poor, etc. It was something a bit more delicate than that. He was talking about our relationship with God. He was talking about our time studying what we believe and why we believe it. He was talking about keeping our faith fresh. He was talking about examining what you do and why you do it on a regular basis. He was talking about change.

We live in an age where change is not only happening; it is happening at speeds never before seen in the history of humanity. Some of us love it. Others are a bit slow on the uptake. Dr. Everett Rogers talked about the various speeds in which we embrace change in 1962 in The Diffusion of Innovation. I am well to the left of his continuum. If I do not land on the “innovator” on a topic, I am almost always an “early adopter.”

That clearly influences this Axiom of mine, but I firmly believe that as a leader we must embrace change. We need to be in the leading group when change is discussed. We simply cannot be sitting back waiting on change to happen to us. For it surely will. We need to be constantly analyzing and asking: What needs changed? What does not need changed (as much as we may want to change it)? How should it be changed? When should it be changed? Who should be involved in making the change? Who will resist the change? How can we win them over? And a any number of other questions.

As a leader, where do you land on change? Do you innovate or resist? Then ask, what “balance points” do I need to assist me? If you are like me, you need someone who will ask you to defend your change. It may be correct, but I should be ready to explain it. If you are a little more on the “Late Majority” or “Late Adopter” end, perhaps your balance point is someone you trust who will push you to question the status quo. Maybe you need someone who will be a burr under your saddle who will not allow you to just stand pat.

Change happens. As a leader, you may be the one who should be leading it, and not being led by it.

Axiom #5: Look for "God Moments"

The past week has been pretty hectic. In addition to returning from a conference to find appointments scheduled for me, and a fall planning schedule looming ahead, my oldest daughter and son-in-law sold their home and purchased another one. That required a lot of work for them, and I have wanted to assist as much as I could, so I gave them the better part of three days. I loved being able to help and wish to do more. It reminded me, however, of some times when one of my primary Axioms came into play. “Always be looking for God moments.”

The house they just sold has some great memories for me. Not nearly as many as for them of course, but a quite a few family events happened in that house. On two occasions I was leaving a meeting in their area when I knew my oldest daughter Alyssa was at home alone. If I remember correctly, both times her husband, John was out of town or maybe even out of the country. As I left my meeting that started at 8:00 am and ended at 11:00 am, I got the idea to call Alyssa and see if they would like to have lunch. It was nothing fancy, just fast food as I recall. I picked it up took it to them, and we sat at their bar and ate lunch together. On both occasions, I was so very aware that my daughter and my two grandchildren (ages 3 and 1) were so glad to see me. It was a surprise visit, and the kids were almost giddy showing me this and that, enjoying the food. Alyssa herself seemed genuinely pleased at the “adult break” in her toddler dominated day. I stayed a little less than an hour, gave them all a big hug and kiss and went on my way. On a third such occasion, while John was in Mexico on a mission endeavor, I took my mower over and mowed their lawn. She told me not to, but when I left, I knew I had done the right thing.

Each times as I drove away, I was so very keenly aware that this did not just happen. God had been directing my steps. I not only needed to see them, they needed to see me. It was clear from the time I called until the time I drove away.

In life, in ministry in general, and in leadership specifically, I have learned to be very sensitive to these “God moments.” These events you cannot anticipate; you cannot plan for; but they are clearly the REAL plans for the day. This sort of fits into my “following your gut,” but it is different. It is more than watching for events as they unfold, this is watching where God is directing and making these events happen.

Over a decade ago, I was in my office at a former ministry location with a heavy day of administrative work staring at me. Somewhere mid afternoon the receptionist called me to say, “Terry, there is a John Doe here to see you. He says it is urgent.” Now, in all honesty, I thought to myself, “NO!!! Not today. I am so behind!” But instead I said, “I will be right out.”

I will not tell you how I knew him, but we had a passing acquaintance and I knew he had just experienced a semi-traumatic event in his life. John Doe and I walked back to my office, closed the door and sat down. After a few pleasantries he looked at me and said something to this effect, “Terry, what is all this talk about trusting Jesus? Can you tell me about how this faith stuff works?”

Now . . . I am no rocket scientist, but even I could hear God screaming with the full fervor of lungs of Deity saying, “Hey Terry, THIS is your event for the day, not those papers on your desk.”

Events are not usually that dramatic for me, or for you I will wager, but you know what? They are there. When you are planning leadership events, or your days activities or team meetings or whatever . . . always leave room in the back of your mind for the God moments. It may just be what was supposed to happen in the first place.

Axiom #4: Reentry

This summer my wife and I visited the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. It was the highlight of our vacation. The experience is incredible. I was able to ride a space shuttle simulator, which an astronaut there, said was very realistic. We visited the control room for the Saturn moon shots. That in itself was a pretty emotional experience considering the history that was contained in that room. I also stood underneath a Saturn moon rocket. It is so immense you cannot fully describe it. The bottom of the rocket itself has five main propulsion points. Each one has a circumference larger than a full grown man. The circumference of the rocket itself is even larger than that, and the length is hard to describe. To think that this thing actually got off the ground boggles the mind.

Being the age I am, I recall sitting in elementary, junior high, and high school when the astronauts would return to earth. They would put several classes together and wheel a black and white TV in the room and we would watch with baited breath as the rockets cleared reentry and then landed in the Pacific Ocean. In those early years, after arriving back on earth, the men (no women flew at that time) would be in isolation for a period of time. I do not recall how long exactly, but I remember they could not be with their wives or children until a “decontamination period” had expired and they were medically cleared. Things have indeed changed.

This morning I am preparing to leave to fly home. I will stop by my office simply because it is directly on my route home. I will then take the weekend to be at home and assist my daughter and son-in-law with their packing in preparation for a move into their new home. Monday I will return to my office and head into a full work week.

My work schedule next week, at least early on, is light. That is intentional. I planned it that way. I always plan it that way. I call it “reentry.” After I out of the office for a period of time, be it vacation or conference, I do not go back in a full steam of meetings. I used to. I was superman. I could handle it. And I did . . . albeit, at a price.

The temptation is to do just the opposite of what I did. After all you have been gone, so you have to hit it hard. You have to set up lots of work meetings so you can get lots of work done. Do you?

Over the years, I have learned that the first couple of days back to work everyone will want a piece of you. There will be questions they have held back until you retuned. Mail will be on your desk. Email will need attended (even if you have tried to keep up). All of this will wear on you if you set up to many meetings.

After a time away from the office, I think reentry for a leader means he or she must leave the first couple of days as open as possible. They need to be available for those they lead while they are catching up on the administration that comes with the sitting in the leader’s chair.

I tell my staff exactly that. I tell them what I am doing and why. I encourage them to likewise plan their reentry when they have been off work. Health is a multifaceted thing. It takes balance. Now, at 55 years of age I have learned that phone booths, or revolving doors, will not put a cape on my back.

Axiom #3 - Servants are Equals

I am writing this from my hotel in Washington, DC. I am here for a conference. It is a nice hotel. I am staying at a Marriott. It has a nice gym, good restaurants, great service, and nice amenities. They even gave me a welcome gift bag with chocolates just for being a Rewards Member! I am living large!

Each morning, after my shower, I head down to the day’s meetings. I will on occasion make a stop in the room throughout the day, but for the most part, I am gone all day. When I return my bed is made, the rest room is cleaned, the coffee supply is refreshed, there are two new bottles of water for me, and the place is generally spruced up quite nicely. That does not happen by accident. Someone actually DOES this work. Years ago, I took this for granted. Well, maybe that is too strong of language. I did not take it for granted, but I did not go the extra mile in being grateful.

Sometime in the early 1990’s my wife was reading an article in one of those “women’s magazines” when she looked up and said to me something to this effect, “Now here is an interesting comment. It says we tip the folks who serve us our food but we do not tip the people who clean our hotel rooms and that is wrong.” We chatted a few moments about that, but I changed my behavior that day. I realized the truth of that statement. I tip the person who brings my food, why should I not tip the person who cleans my bathroom and makes my bed?

I travel 4-6 times a year for work. Our family will stay in hotel 3-4 times a year for vacations and trips. We always do the same thing. Each morning before we leave we take a piece of paper and on it we will write, “Tip for Housekeeping.” We then leave some money for the room service person. I do not have to. It is not required. It is not in the contract with the hotel. But we do it. And we gladly do it. If I do not have the correct amount of cash, I will make up for it the next day. I do it on a daily basis and not at the end of my stay, just in case the staff is different.

Do not think they do not notice and know who you are. On more than one occasion, they have stopped me and said, “Thank you very much for the tips.” It actually happened just this morning.

Now, why would I tell you that? If you think it is to brag, please click the small “x” at the top right hand of the screen. You do not get it at all. I do it because, in my mind, the BIGGEST revealer of a person’s character is how they treat those who serve them. If you are rude and inconsiderate to those you deem as beneath you, it tells me how you will treat peers and superiors given the opportunity.

While in college I spent time in the service industry. I waited tables and did other jobs that were service jobs. (In many ways, I still am in the service industry I guess.) I believe that people do food service jobs or are hotel housekeeping personnel for a reason. Life usually forces then into it. I would wager that no one responded to the question, “Now what do you want to be when you grow up?” with, “I want to clean toilets for non family members for minimum wage.” Or, “I want to serve food to griping, demanding and ungrateful people for less than minimum wage, so they can give me a tip.”

I think most people who do these jobs are forced into it. I think most are single mothers, or students, or moms who are trying to make a little extra to keep the family afloat.

While still living in Chattanooga, TN I had many occasion to go to dinner with the members of the Single Adult Ministry I led. One such occasion, we had a woman with us whom I will call Valerie. Valerie’s treatment of our food server was deplorable at best. She was demanding. She was rude. She was inconsiderate. Valerie was every server’s nightmare. My wife told me she had witnessed this before, but it was my first time to see it. It just so happens, I was paying the entire bill for the group. There were about 10 of us. When I signed the slip with my payment I wrote these words on it,

“Please forgive me of the behavior of my rude inconsiderate friend. I am ashamed of her behavior. The way she treated you was just INEXCUSEABLE, and we all intend to talk to her about it. Please know that all Christians are not like this and the Jesus we follow would not approve of this. Please accept my tip as my way of expressing sorrow and making restitution to you.”

I then tipped her about 50% of our bill. I put that part about Christians in because I have had more than one server tell me they hate to have Christians come into their restaurant after church. They are cheap and demanding.” Ouch! I know that is a caricature and a generalization, but it still hurts.

We could talk about folks who shine shoes, who carry your bags, or any number of things, but we all get the point. How do were treat folks who serve us? Maybe it is your mother or father or another family member. How do you treat them? How generous are you with gratitude? How polite are you? How . . . well, you get the point. How you treat people you perceive as beneath you, is a revealer of your character. It tells everyone the kind of the person you are. When I am evaluating the folks I lead, you can bet your last dollar I am taking note when we are out to lunch.

Oh yeah, this week my room has had extra fresh water, extra coffee supplies, and in general I can tell it was given a little extra care. It was not my rationale for doing this, but it sure was nice.

Axiom #2: Don't Ignore Your Gut

In 1993 I began my doctoral studies. One of the first classes I had to take was two full days of psychological evaluation. We did private stuff, group stuff, and small group stuff. You name it. We did it. I took the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (which looks for deviation), and who knows how many other inventories in preparation for that class. The goal was to determine if we were emotionally stable enough for that terminal degree. I passed, just in case you are wondering.

That class gave me my first extensive exposure to the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator. Since then I have taken it at least twice more. While certain traits have shifted in strength, etc. due to life situation or whatever, one of the four indicators has not altered. The “N.” I am an “intuitive.” Without going into great detail, an MBTI Intuitive not a “woman’s intuition” type of thing. It is something more basic.

As an “N” I follow my gut. It guides my best decisions. Ignoring it, leads to my worst decisions. An “N” does not necessarily make decisions based upon facts. We make it based upon our “gut.” I remember the counselor talking extensively to me about that in 1993 and thinking, “How does he know this about me. He is so right.”

Last week at the Leadership Summit we viewed a dramatization video of a local church with staff and board with dysfunctions. One of the gross characterizations was a senior leader who overplayed the “I follow my gut.” It became, intentionally, very humorous. There are extremes here, as in anything, and that is certainly not what I am talking about.

As I look back over my past years (35+ now) I can see where every time I have ignored my “gut,” I have regretted it. An “N” should not ignore facts; they just are not the primary way we make our decisions. The “gut” should make us take a closer look at the facts. Reexamine them. Run the numbers again. Ask the questions again.

A few months back I was in a very tense ministry setting. The situation had gone south, and had gone south in a hurry. I was totally unaware. As soon as I learned of it, my gut said “Do something . . . NOW!” I did. It totally corrected the situation. However, due to circumstances beyond me, the situation went south again, even further and a lot harder. When I was aware of what was taking place, my gut screamed at me, “Do something Terry . . . NOW.” I did not. I let the “facts” of the situation take over. I calculated all that was around me and talked my gut down. Within hours it had blown totally to pieces and I was caught up in the carnage. It was painful to MANY people, me included. And I was at fault for not listening to my gut.

Some of you reading this are not an “N.” You are a “facts” person. MBTI would call you an “S” or Sensor. “Just the facts m’ am, just the facts.” But, there are times, even with you, when something stinks, and it stinks bad! You read the situation and cannot for the life of you, factually, figure out what is wrong. But there is something screaming at you to ignore that facts and act. Call it a check in your spirit, call it the leadership of the Holy Spirit, call it whatever you will, but you know when it is taking place.

Do not ignore those times. In business they say “If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Well, in life and leadership, the same applies. If something does not seem right, it probably is not. If you are and “S” and need facts, get them. Do the work you need to be comfortable with your decision but do not ignore the screaming in your gut telling you to either act, or stop from acting. If you are anything like me at all, and you ignore it, you will indeed regret it.

Axiom #1: "Don't do it because you have to . . ."

This first Axiom, comes from my discussions with a former ministry colleague Marlaena Cochran. Since this first axiom came out of a meeting with Marlaena, I want to give her credit.

She was talking to me regarding a ministry decision she was needing to make. The exact particulars of that decision elude me just now, but I am sure she could tell you what they were. I do recall this, however. She mentioned to me, "Terry, I think I have to do this." I said in response, "Do not do it because you have to. Do it because you cannot not do it."

I am not really sure where that came from, except from my previous life experience.

Think with me a bit about that statement. There are many things that we feel we "have" to do. But as the NFL referees often say, "Upon further review . . ." We really do not have to do it. I think it is true that we can convince ourselves there is something in a leadership setting that must be taken care of by us when in reality it is our desire leading us.

When I said "Do it because you cannot not do it," I think I am getting at something a bit more serious. I think this is the "next level." This is more than feeling you have to do it, it is not being able to talk yourself out of it. It is like a grinding in your spirit, or sandpaper in your soul. It will not go away.

A few years back I was struggling with a major ministry decision. I tried every way I could to find a way out. It was a difficult struggle. I recall pursuing every angle possible with this. It finally became clear to me what I was going to do, when I realized I simply could not not do it.

Let me be clear. I am not talking about things that are wrong or abusive or out of line in any respect. I am talking about leadership or ministry decisions that gnaw at your gut. It may be a move in ministry. It may be an alteration in methodology. It could be a personnel move. Whatever the issue is, there simply is no way you cannot follow through.

You do not "have to." You "cannot not do it."

Axioms: Introduction

A year ago while attending the Leadership Summit, I heard a talk by Bill Hybels where he referenced his latest book "Axiom." In it Hybels writes about his leadership proverbs, sort of principles that guide his leadership.

While standing in the hallway afterwards I was talking to a couple of ministry associates about that talk and the book connected with it. One of them said, "Terry, instead of just reading about axioms, you should write your own Axioms. You have as many proverbs of that sort as anyone I know." The other responded, "I agree and I know exactly what your first one should be."

A bit surprised, I took note, but allowed the business of life to get in the way. Well, now a year later, I am going to begin the process on this site. Let's see how it goes.

Kryptonite

I am a fan of the group Three Doors Down. I really like good old driving rock and roll music. In the song Kryptonite they have a great line that states, “You took for granted all the times I never let you down.”

Have you ever felt that way? As you look at your relationships and folks mention what you are doing poorly, have you ever thought to yourself, “HEY! What about this and this and this?” You may have even stated it. It has a sting to it doesn’t it?

In truth, that lyric is a great way to language “What have you done for me lately?” or our tendency to focus on the negative rather than the positive in our relationships. Why is that we do that? Why do we almost always think FIRST about what someone has done to us that is negative and not positive? I do it. You do it. We all do it.

When was the last time you stopped to realize the good and positive in your relationships? Let’s take it one step further. When was the last time you actually told them you were aware of their good behavior or those good words? When did you last write a note, sent an email or better yet spoke the works to them affirming the GOOD behavior?

Here is a novel idea. Why not look for the good? Why not remember “the times they never let you down?” Why not look for something good in your acquaintances or partner . . . and then tell them.

Balanced Envionmentalism

I am not sure how many would call me "balanced" in anything, but the other day I had an epiphany of sorts. I am what I call a "balanced environmentalist."

Al Gore will not be getting a call of support from me. Julia Robers will not find me giving up deodorant and anti-perspirant as one of my ways of protecting the environment ( as she said she does on Letterman a while back.) Those I come in contact with will be very glad. But I do think about our responsibility to protect and care for the planet our creator has entrusted to us. I work hard to recycle, even if it means going out of my way to do so, but I am not an activist, at least outwardly.

I live on a busy street so litter is prevalent in my yard each day. I hate seeing folks treat the planet like that, and at times it seems (as stated to me by one of my employees) that littering is the state hobby in western PA.

Here is the balanced view hitting me. While in Africa a few years back, I noticed my African hosts throwing out their empty water bottles onto the road after drinking the water. I asked them about that practice since we see folks do that here, and it bugs the stew out of me. They told me, it was not litter. The poor come along and pick up those bottles and use them to gather their water from watering places. How about that for a correction?

My epiphany came while mowing. I realized that a decade or so back I paid someone to come fertilize my lawn, kill the weeds, feed the grass, and then I had to mow it a lot after it was chemicalized. (Is that even a word?) I stopped that practice some time ago. There are two reasons: 1. It was not a good use of my money. 2. Why pay someone to put chemicals on my lawn so the grass will grow so I will buy more gasoline because I have to mow more often? Weeds are green too! I do not have an electric mower. But if they could make one affordable with enough power to cut my lawn (not an easy chore - I walk 7-1/2 miles every time I mow my lawn - yes I have checked it with a pedometer) I would have one.

Balanced. I really am seeking just that in this area. And you will be glad I did if you stand close to me on a hot summer day!

The Death of Michael Jackson

With all the hoopla surrounding Michael Jackson's death, I was reminded of what I wrote here in 2005.

My Favorite New Quote on the Church

"I wonder if churches do to people what zoos do to animals?" - Mark Batterson in Wild Goose Chase

Doo, Doo, Doo, Lookin' Out My Back Door

We have not been above freezing in some time, so here are some winter pix from my house. Gavin and Frosty are shown from a week ago, followed by some pix from my back deck and out the front. Notice that Frosty's hat is now covered. Finally, some of Gavin's play doh and clay creations. He has an incredibly detailed and creative side to him.

Things that make you say, "Huh?"

I cannot believe I have not written in a month . . . inexcusable. So to start the new year, how about something a bit fun . . . or odd. Here are some real things that happened this past year (or recently) that I just do not get.

A Presbyterian Minister (this is the denomination to which I belong remember) had a sex change from a man to a woman only to become a lesbian. I will not even attempt a comment on the strangeness of this. Forget anything theological or sociological. It is just plain weird.

Cincinnati wide receiver Chad Johnson legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco (Chad 8 5) his uniform number. And, yes he knows it is 8&5 not 85. I wonder if he had been drinking. Is it like the tattoo in "Margaritaville?"

Why do people fly down an acceleration ramp on the interstate only to STOP at the end. There is no stop sign there. If you act tentative, or an idiot, people will not let you out. But if you act like you know what you are doing, they do not mind being behind you. Also, why do some folks start decelerating BEFORE getting on the "deceleration ramp?"

A local radio station this year in Pittsburgh (WDVE) ran a Wet t-shirt contest . . . for men. Yes, you read that correctly. How many beers do you have to have before this is a good idea. I mean really. I do not want to even think about this any more.

Why do so many stores have you "swipe your credit card" then . . . have to give it to them. If I have to hand it to you, why not just do that at the beginning and save an entire step?

Why do so many men (I only visit men's rest rooms) scratch the language on EVERY "Baby Changing Table" to read "Baby _hanging Table?" Is this really funny?

Have you seen the Cadillac Escalade commercial where they compare the Cadillac Escalade Hybrid to the Mini Cooper in gas mileage. Uh, how much better? Is it enough to counter the $30,000 difference in price over the life of the car? I mean, really! And just for the record, a hybrid in an SUV does not count. Period. You are missing the point entirely.

MSN The Cat Man - Visit this link or watch the video posted here. Again, how many beers do you have to drink . . . and over how many years . . .