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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part Two

What is Rob attempting to accomplish in writing  Love Wins? While I do believe him when he says he did not see the firestorm coming, I cannot believe that he did not think some of his comments would cause a stir. He is far too intelligent for that. He may have underestimated it however. That is an error I have made myself a time or two.

This week on his weekly message at his church he came the closest I have heard him come to rebutting his attackers. In the introduction to his sermon he repeatedly thanked his congregation for their support and apologized for any distraction the media circus had caused. During the brief section of commentary he gave a litany of things he does and does not believe including denying being a Universalist, affirming resurrection, believing in miracles, and several other things that escape me at the moment. He did make one comment that drew quite an applause from his audience. He said “I also believe it is a good idea to only discuss books that you have actually read."

It is hard to disagree with that last statement.

There were warning signs in advance of the media blitz, but the intensity definitely increased with the release of the promo video via Facebook and other media outlets. To be perfectly honest, I began to anticipate the book, if for no other purpose to see what it actually said. This led me to watch many of the interviews especially the hour-long online event that was highly publicized.

Herein is my first comment/criticism of the handling of the situation. In every interview Rob consistently avoided directly answering many questions. He would say something like, “That is a great question,” then tell a story or go in another direction and usually never answer the question. I believe this was all part of the hype for the book. I also believe it is one element of how Rob operates. If you have ever listened to his messages or viewed his videos you know questions are a key element in his teaching style. I do not have a problem that. I actually have for many years done exactly the same thing and found it extremely effective in connecting with my audience. In these instances however I think Rob would have been better served to provide some clear cut direct answers to individuals with honest and sincere questions. (For persons whom simply wanted to engage in theological debate for the purpose of espousing their opinion as opposed to his, I would have simply declined.)

In Love Wins Rob forces us to look at some difficult issues. For many of those issues I fear we have simply assumed what Scripture said or assumed what we think Scripture means by what it says. Furthermore, I do not think it is a bad thing to question your beliefs even if you end up believing the same thing. In many ways that is how we come to articulate what we truly believe. I further think forcing some of this discussion is part of Rob's way of calling us to question our dualism and look anew at what it really means to be a Christian.

Beginning with my next entry I will comment on some of the statements and theological questions raised in the book. But I want to end the second introductory entry by saying that it appears to me that one of Rob's purposes with this book was to push some of these very issues to the front burner of Christian discussion. For too long we have lived with an escapist mentality and many have avoided truly engaging our culture and the problems found therein. Many of these issues we can actually do something about. In talking about heaven and hell and other topics in “here and now terms” it can help to pull the curtain back on some of that thought.

More to come . . .

Friday, March 25, 2011

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part One

Unless you've been living in a cave, you no doubt have heard by now some of the turmoil surrounding Rob Bell's new book. Up until this point I have chosen personally to remain distant from the fray. Now however, after having completed reading the book I would like to wade into the discussion with more than a little trepidation.

Before I do that however, I think I should give some background on my views of Rob Bell and my knowledge of him. Rob Bell is one of a select number of podcasts that I listen to weekly. It is safe to say that I have probably listened to several hundred messages by Rob. In addition I have viewed all of his Nooma videos, visited his church, seen him on tour, and read his books. I have met Rob in person on two occasions, but that does not mean we are friends or even acquaintances. What it does mean is that I have tremendous respect for him both as a person, a speaker, a pastor, and a fellow believer.

Here is what “I think I know.” I believe Rob is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ. I believe he truly cares for those who are less fortunate. I believe he honestly desires to deliver the true message of Jesus as he understands it. I believe Rob is one of the most creative persons in ministry today. I believe Rob uses that creativity to reach and speak to individuals who are hurting from any number of the events that life can throw at us.

As I write this, I have no axe to grind. Unlike many who are writing on this topic I do not see myself as the last fortress and defender of true orthodoxy. Many others would say the same but their actions and their words belie them. I wish I could say that I do not have a “dog in this fight.” But that would be untrue. I truly do care about the topics under discussion. These are vital issues, and cannot be simply swept under the rug. The church has wrestled with many of these very subjects for millennia, and I realize we are not going to settle them in the upcoming months on the Internet.

In upcoming posts I would like to share some of my thoughts on these topics in an attempt to add another voice to this important dialogue. I am actually a little fearful to post my insights because I do not see myself on the same plane as most of the others who are writing on these topics, and I have seen the venom that can be unleashed when you ask the questions that you are not supposed to ask. On the other hand, I simply cannot . . . not speak. The issues are too important and the ramifications are enormous. This first posting is simply meant to be an overview on my part.

Love Wins reads like Rob talks. As I read the book, having listened to Rob speak so many times, I can hear his voice coming off the pages. In reading his words it is apparent that Rob feels he has something important to say. I found myself asking the very same question I asked almost every other book I read. That would be, “What is the author's purpose?” What exactly are they hoping to accomplish in this work. I hope to say something on that later.

As I close this first installment I have to say that I have been greatly pained over the past 6 to 8 weeks. It has hurt – physically – to read some of the hateful comments that many Christian leaders have written. Blog writers, Christians commenting on blogs, talk shows, television hosts, and others have thrown around words like “heresy,” as if they were confetti in a ticker tape parade. I had to ask myself what was their purpose? These are harsh accusations to make on anyone, and some of these same writers would have said the same about Bonheoffer, Lewis, Barth, Schaeffer, and others I fear. The MSNBC host being arrogant, accusatory, and trying to make gray issues become black and white did not surprise me. That is who he is; it is how he gets ratings; and that is his and the network’s “shtick” as it were. But reading Christians applaud him for that appalled me!

Where has the common decent way of allowing two people to agree to disagree gone in this “Christian debate?” Just because someone does not agree with me does not make them a heretic! Just because they are throwing out questions for discussion that are uncomfortable does not make them a heretic. There are numerous ideas I had on my heresy list early in my ministry that can no longer be found there. To make matters worse, many are attacking Rob based upon what they have heard others say and not on what he actually said.

If there is anything we should all agree on it is the manner in which Jesus said we should treat another. There can be no doubt that even though we disagree on numerous topics, that the expectation from Jesus is that we would always exhibit love one for the other. It seems to me that that key element has been missing far more than we would like to admit. And I must say that Rob's character as displayed in recent weeks surpasses that of his attackers.

Did not Jesus say something about a “house divided” that may be a tiny bit applicable here? Have we lost the art of being civil? Does this only occur in print where there is no human face? Aren't we actually being cowardly, not to mention unChristlike, when we sit behind a keyboard and attack another person? If we are so hell bent (pardon the pun) on Orthodoxy, would it not be extremely orthodox, not to mention Biblical, to talk to the other person?

Now, I will not and do not agree with all of the contents of Love Wins, but there are some good words there. There are serious questions found therein that we should not ignore. The price is too high. My fear is that the good and honest questions are going to get lost in the fervor surrounding the defense of belief.

More to come . . .

Friday, March 11, 2011

You and Your Divorced Friends

As I thought about writing ideas, it dawned on me that I have never written concerning a topic that was a major force in twenty years of ministry. That would be the subject of divorce. Since I lead a ministry now that has at its primary purpose to help create healthy marriages, this topic carries a bit of irony. There is not as much irony as you would think when you know my full past. This subject came about partly because one of my younger brothers took his own life due in great part to a divorce. (I will write more on that some other time.)

I am not talking about divorce percentages in this article (which vary dramatically depending upon who you read), or divorce prevention (where much of my present ministry is involved) or even divorce recovery (although I led well over 1,500 folks through that process in ministry in two states). I am talking about the day to day relationships with people you rub shoulders with on a daily basis who are dealing with this life altering experience.

That is sad since every one of us has people cross our path regularly that are struggling with the rejection, the pain and the lack of self respect that follows a divorce. I know most us can use some basic information on how to assist friends, family members, co-workers and neighbors as they pass through the valley of divorce. That however quite often is simply common sense in dealing with people you care about and beyond the realm of this post.

Instead I would like to comment on what I consider the most important item. That would be this: Do not to ignore your divorced friend. Many folks just slowly disappear from the lives of their friends when divorce hits their lives. It is not planned, but it happens nonetheless. An automobile accident is not planned but it happens.

They are still the same person they were before the divorce. The do not have a communicable disease. They have not all of a sudden become this monster that will destroy you. Most of us do not know what to say, so we say nothing . . . and in essence, we speak volumes. If you do not know what to say, try this:

  • “Ann, I am sorry this happened.”
  • “Bill, I really do care. Call me if you need a listening ear. I don’t have any advice and you probably don’t need any more, but I can still be your friend.”
  • “How about we grab lunch next Friday?”
  • “Would you like me to watch the kids for you one day so you can have some time alone?”
  • “Hey Tom, want to play 18 holes on Thursday?”

Make up your own variation, but don’t pretend your friend is not there! What if you get together and they do not say anything about the divorce? Who cares? The point is to still be their friend not to be the person with the answers. Just be you. No one else can do that.

It is best if this is female to female and male to male. So men, reach out to your friends as well. It does not come easy for us but it is just as important. I know it may be uncomfortable for you. You think this is easy for them? Sometimes our best stuff is when we are uncomfortable and do not feel like we know what we are doing.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Poetry 30 - "During the Emotions"

Two months ago I began to share a portion of the poetry I have written over the years. The twenty-five poems/prayers written on our Sexuality I would hope to have in print and available for sharing, devotional reading, use in worship, etc. later this year. I will note that here when it happens.

This piece "During the Emotions" is the last one I will post for now. It is oddly enough, the first one I mentioned two months ago, since I first posted it over six years ago. While it was written and published sometime prior to the actual posting, it was posted here during a difficult time of reflecting which led up to a major change in ministry location and career direction. It could however speak to individuals in almost any sphere of their life where difficult struggles are taking place and emotions are running strong.

Now, six years later, I find myself at a similar place, reflecting . . . as a major change is looming on the horizon. There are some major differences this time, but the emotions are very similar. This addresses what was going on inside of me at that time, and how we wrestle with decisions many times. This piece was published in a national book of poetry and received an award for one of the top pieces in that publication. I am pleased with that award, and am pleased to share this piece again here on my site.


_____________________________________________

During The Emotions

How did

I get here?

This is not something

I planned. But

these feelings just seem to come upon me.

I never intended to have these feelings.

It is as if they sneaked up on

me.

I have always claimed - - - at least outwardly - - -

self-sufficiency. Now

these feelings come.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

My life is something that has been

carefully orchestrated,

planned,

structured,

orderly. But now

these feelings come.

What do they mean?

Do they mean anything?

Should they mean something?

Guidance –

that is what I need.

Advise – of that

I have plenty.

I need no more.

Frustration –

it has paid a visit,

several visits in fact.

So it is to You

I come - - - seeking

this

guidance. Because now

these feelings come.





Friday, February 25, 2011

Poetry 29 - "Homophobic (Perhaps Not Even Aware)


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Homophobic (Perhaps Not Even Aware)


Lord,

They say I am normal.

I feel I am normal.

I wonder what it normal.

It does not matter if I know at this point or not.

I do know this:

I have been guilty of treating another human being

in a manner which is not pleasing to You.

I do not know why I do this.

Maybe I am afraid of what I do not understand.

Remind me how Jesus treated those who were rejected by others.

Help me to be more like Jesus.

Help me to love like Jesus.

I do not have to accept what I disagree with,

but I must love the other person.

I do not have to condone actions,

but I must care for them as persons.

Help me Father to be strong where I need to be strong,

and loving where I need to be loving.

Help me to be able to know how to blend strength and love.

Help me to fully grasp and understand the difference.

Amen.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Poetry 28 - "Homosexual Desires"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Struggling with Homosexual Desires


Dear God,

I am so confused.

I feel things that others do not understand.

I feel things that most may never understand.

Help me to understand.

I do not want to hurt others.

I do not want to be hurt by others.

I do not want to misunderstand.

I do not wish to be misunderstood and questioned.

Help me to not hurt so.

As much as I can heal . . .

heal me.

As much as I can change . . .

change me.

As much as I can cope . . .

help me cope.

As much as I must accept

help me accept.

This will not be easy.

I need You and Your love.

I need others and their support.

I ask for Your strength.

I ask for Your wisdom.

I ask for Your help

Amen.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Poetry 27 - "Guilt from Masturbation"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Dealing with Guilt Over Masturbation


Lord,

There really is no one else I can talk to about this.

It is just too personal.

I do not know if it is wrong or not.

I feel guilt,

but I am not sure why.

It is not really a conviction for sin I am feeling.

It is more like

I am being cheated out of something.

Dear God,

I have no one with which to share

this very important part of my being.

The aloneness

afterwards

reminds me of that.

I ask for deliverance from unnecessary personal guilt.

I do confess thoughts related to this

that may be sinful.

I praise You that You created me as a sexual being

with sexual feelings.

And I ask . . . I plead

For someone with which to share this with.

Amen.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Poetry 26 - "Addicted to Pornography"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Addicted to Pornography


My God,

I know that I should not allow anything to control my life

except You.

I now find I am being controlled by my thoughts

and my addiction

to materials that are not pleasing to You.

This is degrading to women,

whom You created.

This is degrading to men,

whom You created.

This is degrading to sex,

which You created.

This is degrading to me,

whom You desire to help.

Help me get the necessary help.

Help me become accountable to someone trustworthy.

Help me overcome my addiction to pornography.

Help me to learn to control my thought life better.

This is not a struggle that will be over quickly.

This is not a battle that will be easily won.

This is not a struggle

that You do not care about either.

I submit to You for the help I can get nowhere else.

I ask for the assistance

that only You and Your Spirit can grant.

Amen.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Poetry 25 - "Recovering from an Adulterous Relationship"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Recovering from and Adulterous Relationship


My God and my Father,

I have failed you miserably.

I have had a sexual relationship

with someone who is not my spouse.

I know your were not surprised by my sin,

but you were saddened.

I have hurt my partner.

I have hurt others.

I have hurt You.

I have hurt myself.

Please forgive me.

Help me to rise from this incredible failing.

Help me to forgive myself.

Like David,

Against You I have sinned.

Wash away my iniquity.

Cleanse me of my sin.

Restore to me the joy of my salvation.

My tears are bitter.

My pain is real – even if others cannot see it.

You presence is just as real.

I do not make light of this sin . . .

but I AM picking up the pieces and moving forward.

May I be sensitive to help others because of this failure of mine.

Because of Jesus Christ Your Son.

Amen.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Poetry 24 - "Virgins but Wish to be Married"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Virgins and Wish to be Married

Lord,

This will not be understood by many.

This will not be understood by most.

This is simply how I feel.

I am many years now an adult . . . and I am still a virgin.

I will not attempt lie to You or anyone else.

I am not very happy about it.

This is not how I expected my life to turn out.

I have kept from sex,

because I believe it is wrong outside of marriage.

That is why I am not happy.

I wanted to be married by now and no longer a virgin.

If I am not to be married,

why do I struggle with these desires?

I need Your help Father.

This is a battle I simply cannot win alone.

I know marriage will not solve all related problems.

In fact, it could make some of them worse.

But it is still the choice I want to make.

Please grant me the grace,

in whatever state You lead me.

I want to trust You to do what is best with my life.

Amen.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Poetry 23 - " Thankful to be a Virgin"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Thankful for their Virginity

Father in Heaven,

I hold no personal pride in where my body is today.

It is only by your grace that I have made it to this point.

I thank You that I am still a virgin.

It has not always been easy,

but it has always been right.

Thank You for Your strength,

when mine was weak.

Thank You for Your wisdom,

when mine was insufficient.

Thank You for Your courage,

when I leaned toward cowardice.

Thank You for Your forgiveness,

when I wanted to succumb to the pressure.

Thank You for Your grace,

when that was all I had.

In a day when virginity is looked down upon,

I am pleased to still be one.

May I only surrender mine within Your will and grace.

Amen.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Poetry 22 - "Carrying a Sexually Transmitted Disease"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Carrying a Sexually Transmitted Disease

Oh

Dear God,

My worst nightmare has come true.

I have a disease that can be understood by very few.

It is so private, that it is known only by a few.

I must share my part of the blame,

but it does not stop the pain.

I confess my fault,

but I am hurt and disillusioned.

I lift my body to You.

I lift my emotions to You.

I lift my spirit to You.

You are the great physician.

Please heal my body if it is Your will.

Heal my sprit

and my emotions

and my mind

because it is Your will.

Amen.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Poetry 21 - "Rape Vicitms"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Rape Victims

Dear God,

I have been violated.

I have been hurt beyond description.

It affects me every single day.

I am depressed.

I am scared.

I am angry.

I feel guilty,

even though I know I am not.

I feel to blame,

even though I am innocent.

I feel like damaged goods,

even though I know I am not.

I feel it is hopeless,

even though I know it is not.

I know Your love heals all wounds.

Heal mine!

Help me to get over this desire to get even.

Help me to be kind to myself.

Help me to not expect too much too soon.

Help me to trust again.

Help me to experience Your grace

when I need it most!

Amen.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Poetry 20 - "Abused as Children, Now Divorced"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Were


. . . Abused as Children, and Now are Divorced

Lord,

The pain lingers on.

I was the prey.

Now I am a casualty.

When I was a child, I was sexually abused

by someone I trusted.

The pain lingers on.

Now the scars that remain

have contributed to the dissolution of my marriage.

I thought I could just put it all behind me.

I now know I need help to do so.

Once again,

I feel alone.

The pain lingers on.

Help me deal with the pain.

Grant me deliverance from the demons in my memory.

I ask for a miracle in my life.

For, that is what I feel it will take.

That is what You can give.

Amen.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Poetry 19 - "Aging and Sex"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Struggling with Aging and Sex

Dear God,

I look in the mirror and realize

I am not as young as I once was.

I cannot run as fast

or as long.

Sexually, it is the same.

I have the same desires,

but these failures make me feel so worthless.

My being is not made up entirely of sex,

so why do I feel like it is?

Help me accept myself where I am.

Help me make change and adapt where I can

and should.

Help me to be patient with myself.

Help my partner to be patient with me.

Help me release this struggle to Your grace.

Amen.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Poetry 18 - "Recovering from Date Rape"


For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there


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A Prayer for

Those Who Are


. . . Recovering from Date Rape

Precious Lord,

I trusted and I cared.

I went out with a person who violated me.

Why do I feel guilty?

I did nothing wrong.

Why do others doubt me?

I am the victim.

Why must I suffer?

Another sinned against me.

Jesus,

I am still unsure of what damage has been done to me

I ask for Your protection

from the memories,

from this person,

from my desire to see them pay a high price,

from disease

from shame.

To You, I commit this dreadful deed.

From You, I must draw strength.

Upon You, I must lean.

With You, I must walk this dark valley,

for you have walked valleys of pain before.

My tears remind me of the act committed against me.

May I respond as You did

to those who sinned against You?

Amen.