Expectations

As some of you reading this are aware, I am a fan of NASCAR and have been for as long as I can remember. I gain a great deal of enjoyment out of lying on a sofa and watching cars go around in circles. I realize that for many of you, further doubts to my sanity have arisen. Be that as it may, the fact still remains, I like the sport.

For stock car racing, January is the month of high expectation. The season does not kick off until the Daytona 500 in February. That means that during January team owners and crew chiefs are constantly talking about their goals for the upcoming year.

The stock car season is a long one, ten months. By November when a champion is crowned, those expectations have either been met or gone unrealized (in whole or in part.) Every member of every team must deal with their January expectations. Did we achieve our goals? If not, why not? Was it from a breakdown in planning and preparation; or were the aspirations simply too high? The answers to those questions will lay the foundation for the expectations to be laid out the following year. It affects hiring and firing of team members and the signing of multi-million dollar sponsorship deals.

Those principles are not for automobile racing only, they are true for life! There are few things that get us in more emotional difficulty than unrealized expectations.

Last summer I attended the Willow Creek Leadership Summit. It is a great time for learning and challenge. I listened to African American Pastor A. R. Bernard, Sr. share one of the most remarkable pieces of advice I have ever heard from a stage. He said (basically) “disappointment comes when your expectations and reality do not match up. The key to emotional health as a leader is to manage your expectations.”

I remember thinking, “Man, is that ever true!” How often have I become discouraged at the response to an event, any event, because I expected something greater than the outcome. It is true in my church leadership. It is true in my personal life. It is true with my children. It is true in something as simple as a trip to the grocery store. If I expect something, and it does not come to pass, I run the risk of being “saddened” (or worse) due to unrealized expectations.

The first danger is to have too high of an expectation of an event. But there is a second, it is to have too low of an expectation. If it is too low we run opposite risks. We can begin to get too inflated an opinion of ourselves or a situation. We also run the risk of not working hard enough.

I have my staff give me semi-annual goals for their various areas of ministry. We then talk about them. I have several criteria for goals.

1. They must be measurable. If we cannot measure them, how do we know if we have achieved it? There is a difference in saying I hope to get a lot of folks and saying, “I expect to have at least 50 in attendance.”

2. They must be challenging. For a goal to be worthy it must be a stretch. Just achieving some simple goals that could be reached with little effort does not cut it with me.

3. They must be achievable. There is a real danger from setting your goals too high. I honestly look at the goals my staff give me and ask, “Is this attainable?” Goals that are too high play games with your mind. I know. I have been guilty of just that.

What do you expect from your life? From your job? From your career? From your marriage? From your church? From your family? From your friends? From your . . . well, you fill in the blank.

Be careful what those expectations are. We should manage our expectations carefully. If they do not come to pass we run into a variety of personal risks. None of which are pleasant. If they do happen, evaluate if it was worthy and then celebrate the completion. There is joy in the party too! But that is a topic for another blog.