After a ton of work, I have completed my Federal Semi-annual report number 4! After completing those nearly 40 pages I am ready to go back to life.
I intend to write a few thoughts about the upcoming election from a bit different perspective in the next day or so. But for tonight, after three LATE nights I am hitting the sack. If I wrote now, you would say, "Man, this guy is totally incoherent!"
Well . . .
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Next . . .
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Leading a Conference on Marriage
Dr. Chapman is from the same home church that I am from, so that is sort of a feather in my cap, and I did nothing to achieve it. (There are other names for that, but I will allow that to pass!) I have had nowhere close to the impact of his life however. He travels internationally, speaks to governments, military personnel, and has rubbed shoulders with presidents (Bill Clinton for example) on more than one occasion. He was a great speaker and challenged us on a level that we all could easily reach.
Our second speaker was Dr. Robert Michael Franklin, President of Morehouse College in
You learn a lot from running these conferences, and I have run many over the years. You learn a lot about people and a lot about yourself. One thing I was thrilled with was the opportunity to sit over dinner and learn from two men who I hold in high esteem. To them it was a business dinner but for me it was much more. I learned so much from both men without them even realizing it.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
My Two October 2nd Heroes
We live in a time when hero is a cheap word. We throw it around fast and loose. It is applied to persons in a TV series, fictional characters in a movie or comic book, a sports personality, a politician, or any number of individuals.
Here is how Webster even defines it: a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability b: an illustrious warrior c: a person admired for their achievements and noble qualities d: one that shows great courage
That may indeed be an actual definition, but I have to be honest here, I do not think it truly gets at what we mean when we say someone is a hero. It seems to me, that a hero is someone that looks out for someone else, cares for someone else, protects someone else, or even rescues someone else often (usually?) at great price to themselves.
I have THREE GREAT CHILDREN. I love them all three dearly and equally, and at some point you will read about them all. But on this day, I want to go on a distinct direction relating to one of them.
October 2nd is a very important day for me. It is the birthday of my grandson Gavin. I have five other wonderful grandchildren and I love them all dearly. Words cannot come close. Gavin, however, is in many ways my second son. Legally, he is indeed my son. Although he is my grandson and calls me Granddad he is much more. You see, Gavin had so many things stacked against him. His father abandoned his mother while she was still pregnant with him. That contributed greatly to the fact that he has lost both of his grandparents on both sides. His paternal grandparents are lost due to no relationship with his father, of his father’s choosing. He lost his maternal grandparents in many respects because they fill the parental role in his life.
Gavin approaches life like I believe I did as a child. He has a reckless abandon to enjoy living, just for the sake of living. He relishes every moment of every day. This great little kid, has a growth hormone deficiency and has to have an injection EVERY DAY. How many five year olds get that? The list is very short, I am sure. He takes it every day with almost no grief. His new phrase referring to kids who mock his short size is, “I am tougher than they think I am!” I absolutely love it!
Well, today Gavin is six years old. Happy Birthday Gavin my little man, you are my hero.
Gavin is not her alone however. His mother, my youngest daughter, Lori Beth, is another of my heroes. She became pregnant at the age of 19 and her boyfriend abandoned her in every way that a person can be abandoned. She was 19, pregnant and without any support from the person who provided the genetic material and should have been there for her.
Every reader here knows full well, that she could have taken the easy route, had an abortion, and I would have never known . . . unless she told me. But . . . she . . . did . . . not. She carried this little boy to term; then gave him up to my wife and I to adopt to provide health care, a solid home, and all the rest. She did not have to do that. I am sure many of her friends counseled her to simply terminate the pregnancy. But . . . she . . . did . . . not. The power that must have taken is beyond me. She was talked about, gossiped about, discussed, criticized, had her character impugned and who knows what all. It came many times from the very church family that should have supported her. But she saw this pregnancy to term, in the midst of odds you and I probably could never understand.
I intend to tell Gavin on day, that his mother is a hero. She saved his life . . . literally! She had it in her power to end it and chose not to. She did the hardest thing any woman could ever do in all likelihood and saved her son’s life at great expense to herself.
Lori Beth, my dear sweet daughter you are my hero. And on this October 2nd as your son reaches his sixth birthday, I am reminded of just that. I love you and I am more proud of you than I could ever express in words. 
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Praying for Bill Maher
Sorry for not writing much this week. I have been in Minnesota for a training upgrade for my PREPARE/ENRICH certification. I may write about that sometime. It is perhaps the best research based relationship study ever done that can accurately predict what area could potentially cause a couple to be at high risk for divorce. But not now.
While waiti
ng for one session to start, I watched on the TV (a very cool flat screen high definition TV I might add!) an older interview with comedian/political commentarian/satirist/fill-in-the-blank Bill Maher. It was mostly about his movie Religulous. In the course of this interview with a couple of movie reviewers, Maher began to talk about his TV show and his penchant for attacking religious individuals. He stated, and I am not being unfair here at all in my comments, that he often gets accused of only bringing the "extremist" in religion onto his show and attacking them. He brings in the caricature of a bad Christian, per se, and lets them have it. He has been told that he does not bring in the "balanced" religious individual to show the "other side."
He then made this statement, and this is almost verbatim, "That is true but it really is not true. It is my contention that if you are religious AT ALL you are an extremist. It goes against all of our normal senses and all of our normal rational thinking. If you are religious on any level . . . you are an extremist."
Now, I could instantly hear some of my Christian friends getting all worked up, wanting to rant and write him. I did not. There was a time that I may have done so, but I am just a bit older now and think my words a bit more. I did not feel any anger or anything of the sort. You know what I thought? I felt my heart go out to Bill Maher. I really felt compassion for him
He actually seems like the sort of guy I would enjoy being around and enjoy having as a friend . . . most of the time anyway. I then prayed for him. I really did. I honestly, earnestly, and sincerely prayed for him. I thought to myself, "I really wish I could build a friendship with him and let him see someone who has more warts than he could shake a stick at, but who really is genuine in his "Christian extremism." That will never happen. But, take it for what it is, that is what happened to me last week.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Life's Necessities . . . Or Are They Conveniences?
Friday, September 12, 2008
Faith Based Funding
Here are the facts. The report quantifies for the first time the astounding cost to governments from family fragmentation. Work of this sort not only makes sociological sense to our culture, it just makes good financial sense to our nation.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Point of Personal Privilege #2
This is my oldest child Alyssa and her husband John along with their two children Téah and Micah. This picture was taken this summer on their vacation at the Outer Banks with John's parents.

Here is my youngest daughter Lori Beth and her son Gavin. This picture is a bit old. It was taken a few years ago at her brother's wedding, but it is a really good picture of her. I think both of my daughters are very lovely, but then, I am a bit biased.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Point of Personal Privilege
One of the items at denominational meetings that usually ticks me off, is when someone rises to say, "Point of Personal Privilege," during the business meeting. It is just a nice way of getting to say what you want about someone you like while circumventing the Roberts Rules process . . .
So-o-o, here I go "Point of Personal Privilege."
We just got back from Tennessee visiting our son and his family. They just welcomed our sixth grandchild (MAN!! Am I old or what?!) It was great to see them and their three (so far!) kids.
Here is a picture of the family. Richard, Priscilla, Gideon (center) Elliotte (left) and Eden the newest in Richard's arms. Yep. I am proud.
I will probably take another "Personal Privilege Day" tomorrow to post some pictures of my other Grandkids and their parents as well. I will get back to commentary soon. Either enjoy it or get over it.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saddleback and the Presidency
Both candidates took the same side on some issues for the most part. I liked Obama's answer on a constitutional amendment for gay marriage. I agree with a man and a woman making up a marriage. Also, as he stated, marriage has always been a state issue, and I am a big states rights person. I liked McCain's pushing it further by saying if the courts try to make one state abide by another state's law on the matter, he would favor an amendment. That is sort of where I have been myself. I am not in favor of national law if it can be averted. I was pleased (mostly) with both men talking about protecting the civil rights of homosexual persons. What many miss is that if you remove the rights of one person, it is a short step to removing yours.
Many questions were thoughtful as were many answers. They ranged from stem cell research, to faith based organizations receiving federal dollars to abortion. I will probably share some more over the upcoming days, but for now I would encourage you to read the transcript here.
As both men said, this is an important election. We need to do our homework. Thank goodness there is some time left.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Get Rhythm
What do these songs have in common?
Walk of Life
New Years Day
Here I Go Again
Crazy Train
Glory Days
Eye of the Tiger
Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 2
Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around
Go Your Own Way
Back on the Chain Gang
I am in Washington, D.C. for a four day conference relating to our grant. While here I have availed myself of the gym facilities at the hotel. Each of the four days I have gotten on the elliptical machine (I much prefer it to running since it places less stress on the joints) for cardio and did some weight training. I did not realize how much I missed a workout in the gym, and the consistency of an exercise routine. I used to do it religiously, no pun intended. Events have caused me to let it slack. I made a promise to myself that I would indeed correct this, along with my biking on a more regular fashion.
Now, what do those songs have in common, besides the fact that each is considered Classic Rock? Each of them gives you a great beat, a great rhythm to use on an elliptical machine while exercising. The beats are distinct from one another giving you a varied pace and the varied push on your heart that is conducive to a productive and healthy workout.
Our lives are meant for rhythm. God designed us that way. God designed the universe that way. 24 hours in a day. Seven days in every week. 30 or so days in each month. 365 days in a year (with minor corrective exceptions). Day then night then day then night. Rest, wake, work, play, talk, sleep.
Rhythm
What gives rhythm to your life? The business of our life can crowd out healthy rhythms sometimes. It can cause us to lose one or more of the important elements of rhythm in our lives.
So the question is, not only, where do we get the rhythm for our life, but where do we need to correct, or balance the rhythm in our life? I just mentioned one of mine. There are more. Where are yours?
Oh, BTW - the musically astute reader will recognize that Get Rhythm was one of Johnny Cash’s early hits. Hm-m-m, it would do pretty well on the elliptical too.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Stopping at the Bottom of the Hill
My grandson Gavin loves the movie “Cars.” He is troubled that the cars have no eyebrows, but nonetheless, he loves that animated feature. Truth be told, so do I. The musical sound track is actually pretty cool too. You get Cheryl Crow, James Taylor, John Mayer, Hank Williams and Chuck Berry in the same place.
You also get a very cool song by Rascal Flatts entitled “Life is a Highway.” One phrase in the song reads:
Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
“Sometimes you turn your back to the wind.” Is that not a very descriptive phrase?
I am a cyclist. I love riding my bicycle. I do not do it as much as I should now, but boy do I love it. However, I digress.
I have ridden my bike in all kinds of terrain. I have ridden the Blue Ridge Parkway (the entire 480 miles), Skyline Drive (all 105 miles three separate times.) I have also ridden hundreds of miles while on vacation at the beach. While at the beach I love the feeling that comes when your back is to the wind. It is like a huge hand is on your back giving you an assist that cannot be fully described. So when I hear those lines in the Rascal Flatts song that is the image that comes to my mind.
As I said, I have ridden a variety of terrain. If you read the locations, you noticed the mountainous territories on the list. There is a daunting feeling that comes over you when you approach the bottom of a hill and realize that you will be going uphill for miles. (One hill on the Blue Ridge is seven miles long!) The thrill of feeling your back to the wind is incredible. However, the thrill that comes from cresting a hill after a long hard climb is even more exhilarating. Words could hardly do this feeling of accomplishment justice. If I were to stop when approaching the hill and dismount I would miss that thrill. I have done just that.
Last week, while attending a two day conference, I had no less than tem individuals chastise me for not writing here. It was not intended as chastisement, or maybe it was. If so, it was received exactly as it was intended in the best sense. One person said something to this effect, “Terry, you have something worth saying. You have something worth writing. Stop depriving the rest of us of your gift that God has clearly given you.”
Ouch. And thank you.
Oh yeah, as much as I like the “back to the wind feeling,” or “the cresting the hill feeling,” my FAVORITE feeling on my bike is screaming downhill. I have gone 59 miles per hour downhill on those tiny tires! I absolutely love it. Guess what? If I do not climb; I do not cresting and I get no downhill. So, it is time for me to start climbing.
I accept the words from others as God speaking to me. I will not go into all that has happened, my fault or not, to cause me to stop. It really does not matter. I will just accept the words of admonishment and act accordingly. I will get back on the bike and climb the hill.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Stop It
If you have neve seen the "Stop It" video . . . you must, you simply must!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYLMTvxOaeE
Bob Newhart is a comic genius.
at 10:43 PM
Saturday, December 01, 2007
What are we doing to ourselves?
I attended a viewing at a funeral home yesterday. It was the viewing of a 19 year old African American male who was shot a week ago in what appears to have gang connections. I talked to his uncle, who is a friend of mine who teaches African American Studies at Pitt, and learned that this you man had several uncles in his family who are engineers, and one uncle (great uncle?) who played a major role in putting a man on the moon.
As I stood there talking to them, I commented, "What are we doing to ourselves as a people?" I realize there are white on white killings, and hispanic on hispanic killings, but nothing on the order that is taking place in the African American community. We are losing vast portions of an entire generations of young black males? How on earth are we as a people going to replace these men and their minds? Their contributions to society are being lost forever to humanity. As I talked to the African American pastor who was to perform the funeral, he agreed and said, "The cure for cancer may be laying over their in that casket."
Sobering thought.
In Africa we are losing a generation of young adults, in the prime of life, to the ravages of HIV/AIDS and in America we are losing a generation of young men, in the prime of life, to one another. The loses are the same.
What are we doing to ourselves? What can we do to address this atrocity?
at 9:27 PM
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Leadership
at 10:32 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The Eagles - Long Road Out of Eden
I have literally listened to it 50 times already. There are (as is always the case) one or two songs that do not really hit it, but out of the 20 . . . there are 17 at least that knock your socks off.
at 10:49 PM
Monday, July 02, 2007
"Granddad, I'm Scared."
I was instantly wide awake and said, "Come on Gavin. Get in the bed with me." (Now that alone is a unique event. Years ago I may have not even heard him!) After crawling into bed beside me Gavin said, "There is a monster outside my window." We then dialogued about said monster until he fell back asleep. An hour or so later, I returned him to his own bed where he remained (as he usually does) the remainder of the night. The next day, we talked about the event and how real it actually was for him.
As I reflected on that event over the next day or so, I was taken back to my own childhood. I recall quite often at a very early age lying in my bed deathly afraid of "whatever" but also too afraid to go see my own father and tell him I was "scared." (The reasons for that are varied and not the purpose of this entry.) As I thought about that event, I was suddenly aware that I was smiling. Riding alone in my car . . . and smiling. I was smiling because Gavin felt okay coming to me in the middle of the night to tell me he was "scared."
For millennia Christians have referred to God as "Father," but do we feel the freedom to go to him and say "Daddy, I'm scared."
This is the exact idea in Romans 8 Paul had when he wrote that the Spirit allows us to move forward in spite of fear and say Abba, Father. Scholars quickly recognize that the word "Abba" was an Aramaic word in that day with no real English equivalent. It was a term of endearment best deemed, "Daddy.," Paul is saying that when we are afraid, we can go to our heavenly father and say "Daddy, I'm scared."
What are you facing? What is your biggest fear at this moment. What monsters wake you in the middle of the night? What drives you to fear? Can you . . . do you . . . go to your loving heavenly Father (and all that is good about that word and nothing that is bad about it) and say "Daddy, I'm scared."
Right now . . . I could sure use that. I am sure many of you could as well.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Red Dirt Road
Country music is not my favorite music. I have no dislike of it. In reality I was raised listening almost exclusively to it with my father. I was able to see many of the old time country music greats (George Jones, Bill Anderson, Johnny Cash, Tammy Wynette, Buck Owens, Carl Smith, Loretta Lynn, Kitty Wells, the list could on) in the mid 60's live with my Mom and Dad.
Now, I am just basically a rock and roll fan.
That being said, I think country musicians are the best story tellers as song writers. (I write that in spite of the old joke about backward masking country music getting your truck, girl, and dog back.) In my opinion, the only music to come close was the old R&B in the late 60's and early 70's. There were some great stories woven in there as well!
Two years ago, while on my flight to Africa, I came across a song by the country duet Brooks and Dunn. The song gripped me like only a song can do. It held my attention the entire flight over on the in-seat music programming, and did the same on the return flight. That song is entitled Red Dirt Road. It tells the story of an aspect of the author's childhood and his outlook on life. In many respects it could be my story. (Full lyrics are below.)
This weekend I will be driving to North Carolina, where I was born to perform my baby brother's wedding. (He is 46 years old.) I will be traveling with my grandson Gavin. He and I have made this trip a couple of times now. I left NC in 1976 at the age of 22 and have never lived there since. It is still HOME in many respects. And for the first time last fall, I felt a tinge of homesickness on a return trip. Many things played into it, at that time, but feel it I did.
As I thought about that experience, and my song experience with Red Dirt Road, I tied it to something I have been trying to do for some time. I have been wanting to get a tattoo. I have wanted one that connected me with my heritage as a southerner. In my later years, I am more proud of that than I have ever been. Over the last decade I had many ideas of what the tattoo should be, but nothing fit or it could have been misconstrued and been offensive to someone. Thus it never happened. But now it will. I have chosen what the tattoo will be. (I am not about to tell you what it is now!) I am making plans for my tattoo and preparing to visit my old stomping grounds. It will for me be a Red Dirt Road sort of experience.
===============
Red Dirt Road
by Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn
I was raised off of Route Three
Out where the blacktop ends.
We'd walk to Church on Sunday mornings,
Race barefoot back to Johnson's fence.
That's where I first saw Mary,
On that roadside pickin' blackberries.
That summer I turned a corner in my soul,
Down that red dirt road.
It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car: I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,Of that red dirt road.
Her Daddy didn't like me much,
In my shackled up GTO.
Oh, I'd sneak out in the middle of the night,
Throw rocks at her bedroom window.
We'd turn out the headlights,
Drive by the moonlight.
Talk about what the future might hold,
Down that red dirt road.It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.
I went out into the world,
An' I came back in.
I lost Mary: Oh, I got her back again.
An' drivin' home tonight,
Feels like I've found a long-lost friend.
It's where I drank my first beer.
It's where I found Jesus.
Where I wrecked my first car:I tore it all to pieces.
I learned the path to Heaven,
Is full of sinners an' believers.
Learned that happiness on earth,
Ain't just for high achievers.
I've learned; I come to know,
There's life at both ends,
Of that red dirt road.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Kodachrome
As I have begun to look on the process of my blogging, I have had to do some serious evaluating. When I first began doing this in 2005, it was meant as a means to help the church where I was serving as Pastor. Since I am no longer in that position, it has caused no small amount of consternation. It has caused me to ask such questions as:
- "What is the purpose of doing this?"
- "Why should I continue?"
- "Should I continue?"
- "Does anyone read it?"
- "Does it really matter if they do not?"
I have come to think that the writing of this blog is actually like that. I have been viewing it through Kodachrome eyes and when I really look at it in black and white, it is not that pretty. In reality, much of what is said here really does not matter to those who read or do not read it. I am only kidding myself to think otherwise. I am sure the content of the writing has revealed that very stuggle.
As I have pondered this issue (while mowing the lawn, or on a long bike ride) I have come to a conclusion. It can best be summarized like this: I am actually writing for me. It is my outlet. I really cannot be doing this in the hopes that someone else reads it or likes it or is changed by it. Truthfully . . . in black and white . . . I write for the same reason every great and not-so-great writer in all of history has written. "I have something I want to say" and this just so happens is one of my venues.
So . . . my writing will change . . . or not. But I will be doing this because I really want to say something and leave whatever happens, or does not happen, to others.
==============
Kodachrome
by Paul Simon
When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonderI can think at all
And though my lack of education hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall
Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day
Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away
If you took all the girls I knew when I was single
And brought them all together for one night
I know they'd never match my sweet imagination
everything looks worse in black and white
Kodachrome
They give us those nice bright colors
They give us the greens of summers
Makes you think all the world's a sunny day
Oh yeah
I got a Nikon camera
I love to take a photograph
So mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Mama don't take my Kodachrome away
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Death of Jerry Falwell
I know. I know. I know.
With the passing of Jerry Falwell there will be no end of folks lining up to take pot shots at him and the "religious right." I have no intentions of doing any such thing.
Did I agree with all of his theology? Did I agree with all of his politics? Did I agree with all of his methods? Do I agree with yours? Do you agree with mine?
The answer to ALL of these questions is, of course, "No."
In spite of the areas where I disagreed with Jerry Falwell, I would like to point out one area where I did agree and he actually did Christians a major service. He taught us to GET INVOLVED IN OUR CULTURE. You may not have liked what he did or how he did it, but at least he got off his duff and did something.
Personally, I cannot always say the same thing. I will wager, that neither can you.
If I do not approve of his issues . . . then pick my own issues.
If I do not agree with his stances . . . then take my own stance.
If I do not think his attitude was always loving . . . then by God's grace let me be loving.
Jerry Falwell is a hero to some and a villian to others. I do not really know what your opinion is on this one. And I will guess, you do not care what mine is, so I will not state it (especially since it is not simple and clean cut.) But ALL of us can learn from him that as Christians we should become involved in our culture and not simply sit on the sidelines and take pot shots at it.
Which unfortunately is all most of us actually do I fear. At least he did not simply do that. He tried in his way to get involved and make a difference.
I wish I could do that half as well.
Monday, March 26, 2007
The World of the Bible - Parts 2 - 4
To conclude . . . finally. (Nope! I am not giving an excuse or a reason for my absence! Read smile here.)
Not Right/Wrong but Honor/Shame
We spend all of our discussions centered around whether something is right or wrong. That was seldom, if ever, in the equation during the Biblical era. The question for them was "Will this honor or shame my family?"
For example: When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I stole a candy bar from a local grocery store. My Dad found out. Uh oh. After the obligatory "punishment," I had to go back to the store, apologize and pay for it. He made sure I did too. It would never occur in that fashion in a Bibilcal era. They dealt with things privately. If it were to become public, it would shame the family.
Read the passage where it is Jesus vs. lawyers or vs. the Pharisees. It almost always is an attempt to take his honor.
In their culture, honor was so important, that the position of honor was seated, not standing. To stand was to say you were the lesser. Teaching was almost always done from a seated position. Check out the stories in the Bible, e.g. Jesus sits on a boat to teach. There are exceptions, but not many.
Not Future/Present/Past but Present/Past/Future
In most of our discussions, we talk about tomorrow, the future, first. We talk about where we are headed, our vision, our hopes, etc. Then we talk about today. We barely discuss or learn from the past. We look to the past as a final resort usually.
Biblical personalities, are living in the present. It is like this, for the most part, they were poor. Today was important, not planning for tomorrow." Today we look to the future and plan for it. They live in the present, which comes out of the past, and have little time to discuss the future. They asked for "daily bread," we plan for retirement.
At Passover, a place is set for Elijah, and at one point, someone gets up and goes to the door to see if he is there. It is about the present welcoming the past.
Not Individual but the Group
There is no private rights. The rights of the group is key. All of life is very public. There is no discussion of a right to privacy in the Middle East even today. Everyone is in everyone else’s business. The idea is that the group is what is important.
All of these four items are crucial, but the final one gets me more than the others. What does that say about me?







