Kid's ID Songs

When I think of my three kids there are certain songs that sort of are their ID Song for me. In no order and for varying reasons here they are.

Alyssa - Love Shack

I learned just before her wedding that she loved this song and called it one of her favorites. I think I was surprised because it doesn't fit her normal style of music . . . whatever her normal style is! She plays a game (or used to) according to John where you turn on you radio alarm at night and you get to hear only two or three notes of a song, and she can almost always name that song he says. Her musical knowledge is pretty broad.

Richard  - Jessie's Girl and Crazy Train

This is weird one. I have to pick two. Jessie's Girl is the first song I heard Richard play on the guitar and sing around the house, after he taught himself guitar. He does not recall it, but he said, "I really like this song." We all have songs where we love the music or the beat but the message, not so much. This may be one of his. He (like Alyssa) began piano lessons when he was five, so musically they both are very broad in their abilities. At eight years old, Richard was faking out his piano teacher, but picking out the songs by ear and not reading music. She was sharp and caught on however, and forced his hand. Crazy Train is a song he listened to on the pc while doing homework and he would do the Ozzie cry right along with it!

Lori Beth - M-m-m-m Bop

Lori Beth absolutely loved Hanson when she was in elementary school. While her music tastes have changed a lot since those days, I think she still likes this song by the then boy trio. She probably even knows what they are up to now. I have attended more concerts with Lori Beth than any of my kids. We have seen Alice Cooper twice and Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, to name a couple good ones! We even bought matching t-shirts at the Petty concert.

God's Timing and Purpose

Have you ever noticed these words in Exodus 3, “The Lord said, ‘I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying our because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.’”

That is pretty amazing when you slow down and realize that this suffering had been going on for hundreds of years. They had been in Egypt now for nearly 400 years. But now, when Moses is at the point of being ready to serve as the hand of God’s deliverance, God comments on seeing their misery and their suffering. God did not just now notice.  It is not as if God was taking a walk and just came back to see this taking place. God had seen it all along, but the time to act was not right . . . until now.

How do you think those folks felt who year after year after year, did not see God act to end their suffering, and actually saw it intensify?  They felt exactly as you I have would feel in the same situation. Do you ever feel like you are in year 350 out of 400 and there is no end in sight? Does it feel like God has not even noticed your “misery?”

Herein is a lesson for us. God has noticed. God does notice. God does care and God will act.

This is a major element of faith. We believe that in the end, God will perform justice. God will do right. As Abraham put it, “Will not the judge of all the earth do right?” Even when that is not the “right” we may wish it would be? God will indeed make things right. I need that reminder often it seems. I may not always like the timing and the purpose of God, but it has always proven to be right.

Community

I told the congregation where I spoke on Sunday:

"I do not think it is possible to grow spiritually apart from community. It is not just the support and the encouragement, although that is extremely important. It is the rubbing edges against people. Other people point out your growing areas.

The opposite is likewise true. If you have bad habits or some dangerous addiction you are trying to break, how important is the community you are a part of? Are you hanging around people who participate in what you are trying to cease? Your efforts are in all likelihood doomed to failure! Are you around folks who have broken free of that issue? Then, your chances of success dramatically increase."

Vacations

The summer is almost over. This has been a much better one for our family on many fronts. In spite of some tough items this summer, Kay was not having chemotherapy, so it has to be improved!

Vacations this year involved some bit of travel for us. We spent a week in the mountains of NC in June. We were able to see our son and his family several times during that trip, and our two daughters were with us, so it was very cool. We did travel about 1,750 miles that trip, but it was worth it. This past week we got back from two weeks in southwest Florida on the gulf coast in the home of some very gracious friends. We drove down and back. On the trip down we visited our son and his family again. On the return trip we were able to see my family. This involved 3,500 miles driving.

If you do the math, that adds up to over 5,000 miles in the car. We enjoy one another, but no one can talk that much! Well, maybe I could, but the family does not want to listen. What Kay and I did was listen to many podcasts I had been building up. Here are some of them:

• John Ortberg: Always worth hearing. He had a great great message on forgiveness!
• Rob Bell: I love listening to Rob. I agree most of the time, and love his communication style!
• Andy Stanley: A good communicator and one of my favorites. I usually agree with him exegetically, although not 100% since he can be rigid in his interpretations.
• Erwin McManus: Never deep exegesis, but he had one or two talks that were incredibly challenging to me this time.
• (I never listen to any other staff members at these locations. That would be a confession.)
• PTI: Yep I love Tony and Michael!
• Around the Horn: I love these sports commentaries even if they are off a lot.
• Dan Patrick Show: Entertaining, but good sports analysis
• Stuff You Should Know: I love listening to these guys. I disagree with them often, but they almost always have some great items to learn about. Gavin loves them too!
• This American Life: The program is from Chicago Public Radio. I love most of them and have sent them donations. It has the usual public radio feel to it. You know: The announcers have Barry White voices, adding extra bass. The music can be anything from bluegrass to Stairway. Usually a lot of alternative stuff with a bit too much treble in the music, but most of the musical transitions sound like they should be in a porn video! It is broken into what they call “Acts” - It almost always starts with a long story, then two medium ones and finally a short one but on occasion they switch it up.  The entire episode on Hamlet being done in a prison was wonderful! I enjoyed it immensely!

Oh . . . we also listened to a lot of music. This trip it was a lot of Jackson Browne and Alison Krauss mixed with worship music, classic rock, alternative rock and country. I am a mutt in so many ways! It rubs on my family too I think!

On 57

No. This is not a post about Heinz ketchup or Heinz 57 steak sauce. It is about something personal. This past week I turned 57 years old. It even SOUNDS ancient to me to read it. I thought I would take a few moments to write about some thoughts I had upon reaching that age.

My Perspective

Let me say first that I do not feel 57 most of the time. I am active in work and recreation. I still love screaming down hills on my bicycle. I do a pretty good job of keeping up with and being the Father figure for the 8-year-old boy who lives in our home. I actually keep up with him at Scout meetings better than a lot of Dads who are many years my junior.

The other week, there were some events that had taken place that had thrown me for a loop. I sat at the table with my chin in my hand just looking off into space, and Kay walked into the room. She looked at me and asked, “What are you thinking?” I replied, “For the very time, I just had a thought that you have had 75 – 100 times.” “What?” was her retort. I then said, “This is not what I envisioned for the eve of my 57^th birthday.” She smiled and said, “You are right, I have thought that at least 100 times.”

We then had a brief conversation where I said, “We are going to have to come to a good way to come to grips with the losses we have in front of us.  They are never going to return. We need to grieve them so we can accept what God had brought our way and move forward.”

That being said, I have no intentions of slowing down. I enjoy ministry. I enjoy life. I enjoy my family. I enjoy the relationships in my life. I enjoy having the wisdom that comes from years of mistakes and experiences. I intend to use those for quite a few years to come. I have some regrets. Don’t we all? But there is much much more I am glad for and have no regrets regarding. It has molded who I am. Much like Picard in one particular episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, if you remove one of the bad things from my life, I am not the person I am, and I am not convinced I would like the person I would become. So, at 57, I am at peace with who I am and the lot I have been given or created. Let’s see where God takes me on this journey we call “life.”

My Children

I am more aware than ever that I love my three children. I think for the most part they love me and are proud of some of the things I have been and done . . . not all . . . but some. Alyssa, Richard and Lori Beth have provided wonderful joy in my life and it is hard to believe that they are all adults and in just a little over 18 months all three will be at least 30 years old. As a father I am very proud of their accomplishments. As a father I thrilled to see them do things with all their might. As a father I marvel at their differences and similarities.

My Grandchildren

It is true that Grandchildren are a great joy in life and I have eight beautiful and handsome grandchildren. There is great joy with visits from the three who live close by. They have a good home and when they visit I love to hear them say “I love you and give me a hug!” There is also great joy in having them drive home after a visit! Read: Huge smile here!

When the four who live 500 miles away are with me I am so happy to see the joy in their faces. They are wonderful vibrant and thrilling children. I wish I could see them more often, but alas, this is the course of life. Thanks goodness for Skype and hearing them say, “I love you Granddad!” I am now experiencing what my Dad and Kay’s parents experienced when we visited them living so many miles away.

Gavin is so different. He is more than a grandchild. He is in many ways (not counting the legal ones that are ironclad) my son. I work hard to not make the same mistakes with him I made with my own three children, and there were many. I am inventing new ones though. While this is not what I planned on at this age, I cannot imagine not having him in my life and my home. Lately, he has taken to saying, “Daddad, you’re the best!” I have no idea where he got it, and I do not care! As a words person, it is salve to me heart every time he says it!

My Wife

What a blessing my life partner has been to me. Kay has endured a lot being married to me. I am no walk in the park. But she is still here. I love her and admire her for the way she handled her life threatening battle with cancer last year to emerge victorious. I have worked and am working hard to show her how much I love her. Having been married for 35 years, it is hard to believe how quickly those years have passed. She was my young beautiful bride only yesterday it seems. Sweetie, I am proud to be your husband. Thank you for having me.

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part Five

If it is not clear by now, I am not attempting to write a review of, or take apart the various chapters and points in Love Wins. Many others are taking on that task.

Instead, I am attempting to address what I feel is a much deeper issue. That issue is how the Evangelical community has treated Rob Bell these last few months. I mentioned this in my first post, but it has been unrelenting. I see it especially in the comment sections on otherwise good blog discussions. Folks have even taken to posting his comments leading into his sermon the week after the most vigorous attacks out of context and after making them into a video, criticize him for defending himself.

I am sorry, but when your sentence begins with “I have not read the book, but . . .” But what? You have no voice. How is this different than folks who have never read the Bible but claim it is not inspired, or contains errors, or number of other criticisms?

As I stated weeks ago, there have been times where I have physically hurt as I read viscous attacks on a man who loves and serves the same Jesus we do. To simply Tweet “Good bye” is just not Christlike by any definition. Did Jesus not say, “If they are not against me, they are for me?” I don’t think he feels as threatened by all of this as we think.

This week, as with most weeks, I listened to Rob’s sermon at Mars Hill. I heard something I have not heard before. He was not arrogant. He was not attacking. He was not defending. He was hurting. He was a man who has felt the full force of the Evangelical onslaught and it has hurt him. Being attacked by the group you are in some way a part of is the worst pain of all. He was pretty open about how he has had his “hope meter” shot through over the past weeks. Having felt that brunt my own in the past, I know whereof he speaks.

Does anyone honestly think that makes Jesus smile?  Does seeing someone hurt and attacked please him? If there is anything we all MUST agree on it is that we are to love one another. We are to love even our enemies. Has this been loving?

Why do we feel this need to talk so much about judgment to the exclusion of love and grace? Oh, we use the word “grace,” and talk about it in some sense, and put it in our communications, but do you not hear . . . even our grace conversations are tainted with judgment.

Scot McKnight, in his multi posting review of the book made one statement that really hits home. It shows he was trying to at least give Rob a fair hearing and not just write him off. Scot wrote: “I quite agree with Rob that it is an odd truth that some people, who are most concerned with having a nice afterlife, don’t much care about hell on earth in this life, don’t much care about foreshadowing where all of creation is going, here and now.   And this is wrong.  It involves a truncated purely other-worldly Gospel, which is more Gnostic than Christian.   I agree with Rob this is not the real Gospel Jesus preached.”

I prayed for Rob Bell today. I prayed for his encouragement. I prayed for folks to come along beside him to love him as Jesus would love him. I prayed that he would not feel injustice as he seeks to comment on it where he thinks he sees it.

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part Four

First Heaven.

Now Hell.

That is how the chapter on hell begins. Tough conversations lie ahead.

I have been fascinated with the vast amount of type space and venom that has been given on the subject of hell in this increasing online discussion (and I use the term “discussion” guardedly.) Why are we as Christians so quick to jump on this issue while matters of justice and mercy stand by and miss our eyes, ears and especially out mouths and fingers? Why do we seem so preoccupied with judgment both present and eternal?

When the Love Wins controversy broke, I put on my Twitter and Facebook accounts a statement from Scot McKnight that I really really really think we should take to heart. It was, “No one should begin to talk about hell without spending fifteen minutes in pausing prayer to consider the horror of it all.” I do not care how you define hell. I do not care how you determine people are sent there. I do not care how you determine it to be played out, for how long, and for what purpose, that statement still should give you reason to pause. But alas . . . for many, it has not slowed down their fingers on the keyboard.

“Hell” is an often used word in our culture. Stop and think about how often you hear the word in the course of a week. It is used as a swear word, a word you use to express your disgust with someone, as a descriptor of someone’s dire life circumstances (i.e. living hell”), a place where wicked go when they die, a metaphor for things just not going very well for you, and probably many other ways.  Donald Trump even used it in the last week in an interview on NBC’s Today show saying, “This country is going to hell,” and he was not talking about a destination of eternal punishment. He was talking about the financial situation of our country and the United States overall direction.

However, in the context of Christianity (and many other religions) as we know, “hell” is a theological word, with centuries of theological meaning tied to it. I am not saying I agree with that meaning, nor am I saying it is a unified meaning (it surely is not) but it has some traction in the Christian culture and in our broader culture as well. I think Rob has taken a calculated risk in this chapter and it has back fired. He knew it was a possibility, but he thought it worth the risk to move the discussion to the forefront. I think he attempted to redefine the theological word “hell.” I think he is trying to move between the “living hell” scenarios (which are just that I might add!) and the “eternal punishment” discussion seamlessly. I do not think it worked. The baggage associated to both topics is too real, too painful, and too entrenched.

So what exactly is Rob trying to do in this chapter? It seems he may be doing what he is doing in this entire book: push issues into the realm of dialogue. This is healthy. It is how weaknesses in our own arguments are exposed. When we actually listen to the other side of the story, we may begin to look at our viewpoint with a bit more of a critical eye. I do not mind the manner in which Rob puts forth questions. It is how he operates and I actually like it. This chapter is some of that on steroids.

I am not going to get into the theology of hell on this entry. I refer you to the two sites I linked on my previous post for some good discussion on that topic.

http://www.patheos.com/community/jesuscreed/2011/04/04/exploring-love-wins-4/#more-15446

http://www.patheos.com/community/bibleandculture/2011/03/27/for-whom-the-bell-tolls%E2%80%A6%E2%80%A6-chapter-three-bell%E2%80%99s-hell/

I am bypassing the theology to say, if trying to redefine hell, is his first mistake, I think this is his second. He tries to deny being a theologian. He is indeed a theologian, try as he might to deny it. Rob often says, “I am not a theologian.” I could not disagree more. You are a pastor, it comes with the territory. We (he) may not be the ivory tower, reading and writing, avoid the masses, uncaring variety, but we are theologians. We are leading, talking and discussing God and all things related to God. It is part of the calling. In discussing the topic of hell, one author said, “Your view of hell reveals your view of God.” Pause and consider that statement for a moment why don’t you? That, my friends, is the essence of theology.

As a pastor, I likewise have to wear the “theolog” garment. I may not wear it well, but for me, as with, Rob, it comes with the territory. As I think about the awful subject of hell, I have to ask myself some serious questions, even if just for the sake of discussion with myself. What if fire is a metaphor for separation from God . . . or for something else? What if folks can escape hell after a period of time? Is the gulf pictured in the parable also a metaphor, after all it IS a parable? What if . . .? What if . . .?

I am not saying I do or do not believe any of the above, I am simply asking questions. That leads to the big question: “Does it change my view of God?”

I surely hope not.

This leads to what I think is the third error. While Rob does a good job in the book “demystifying” the concept of “gehenna” in the words of Jesus, he broad brushes some topics that would take a much larger volume to fully explore. I also think he misses it or does not address some other passages on this topic. He is simply trying to cover too much territory. I understand his thinking. He knows he will stir up a stink, and he is trying to defend Biblically what he is saying.

I intend to only have one or two more post on this topic and then leave it to others. At least that is my intention now. Let me close this time by repeating Scot McKnight’s statement, “No one should begin to talk about hell without spending fifteen minutes in pausing prayer to consider the horror of it all.”

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part Three

My plans have changed on this. I had originally planned to write about the various chapters in Rob’s book with my comments on his comments. I intend to tone it down now and just give some passing comments. Several items have led me to this.

First, there are some pretty smart cookies who are actually discussing the book in fair honest critical terms while not attacking the man who wrote it. That is all anyone could ask for. Here are two excellent examples of writers who are doing this:

http://www.patheos.com/community/bibleandculture/

http://www.patheos.com/community/jesuscreed/

You will have to go to previous posts, but you can and should go there to read what they have written.

Secondly, the conversation is getting a bit out of hand, and I don’t want to go on ad nauseum.

Finally, my ideas are simply to add to the discussion while not engaging too deeply in the debate aspect of it.

My comments are not going to be handled in the chronology or structure of the book, but instead in the order I wish to discuss them. In the book Rob says, “First heaven, now hell.” I am going to do just that. So at least for now, I am going against my own statement.

Christians have gone for so so long, evangelical Christians especially (and I am in that camp) speaking of heaven as if it were a place to escape to. We talk as if God had given up on this world totally and we are “out of here!” On that point, we are guilty as charged. I have done it myself in the same extreme as many reading this have done, or perhaps are doing.

In following up on Rob’s questions I wonder have we really done heaven a disservice? Have we lowered heaven to where it is created in our likeness and not in God’s likeness? Have we missed the point? To coin Rob’s phrase, “Have we lost the plot?”

I think so. Let me explain it with one passage and one illustration.

At almost every funeral I have attended and certainly every one I have officiated, at some point we read the passage in John 14, “In my Father’s house are many rooms.” (It may read "dwelling places" or something else but the concept is the same. The AV “mansions” is a poor translation for today at best.) I would speculate that most folks reading this have heard exegetical comments about this passage where it  is explained how in the first century Jewish family after the formal toast for marriage and the acceptance by the bride, the groom would the spend many months “preparing a place.” In almost every case I have read, he was going to his Father’s house and building an addition, and extra room as it were, for his bride and himself, and then he would claim his bride and take her to the father’s house. The groom was doing exactly what Jesus says he is doing.

This is where we get side tracked quite often. We go into great arguments about what the rooms are like, or what he is doing in the preparation phase, or what, when or how will he return.

I think those questions miss the point. The point is that the bride will be with the groom in the father’s house. The other incidentals are not the issue. The issue is (if indeed he is speaking of heaven here, and I think he is) that we will be with Jesus in the Father’s house. The point is not where or how or when or for what purpose. The point is WHO, namely Jesus and the Father and us (however you wish to define the “us.”)

Now an illustration for “where” heaven is.

The screen (or paper) where you are reading this is a two dimensional piece. It has height and width. It has no depth. The depth is what makes our world three dimensional. It adds an element that a two dimensional world cannot grasp and cannot even see or perceive or understand.

Suppose this page you are reading is a living world. The letters on the screen are the creatures living in this world. Suppose two of the letters, say the “t” and the “e,” were to be in dialogue about another world they could not see. Does it exist? Where is it? Where are the creatures who inhabit that world? You and I as the three dimensional readers seeing and hearing them may say, “Here! I am right here.” Now try as we might we are above these creatures and they can never comprehend our world. If we could become “incarnate” and visit their world, we could try to explain to them our world in terms they would understand, but would they really get it? Probably not. They cannot. This third dimension is beyond their ability to grasp. It is outside of their realm. Try as they might, they could never understand depth. They may see traces of it if we were push our finger through the page and they would then see this world as something intersecting their world, but they could never grasp it in total. The “t” may say to the “e,” "Where is Terry this three dimensional person?" I could say, “Here! I am right here!” But they could not comprehend it because it is beyond them.

As Rob, and other have mentioned, folks who study physics and especially those who accept “String Theory,” have identified eleven separate dimensions. These include space, time, etc. and numerous dimensions in the sub-atomic world.

Here is my point. They do not even consider a “spiritual dimension.” When we die, whatever death is (James says, the “spirit” leaves the “body”) we enter the “spiritual dimension.” Forget how you get to heaven, or how many will populate it, it is without doubt at that moment (until the “New Heaven and the New Earth and the New Jerusalem”) in the spiritual dimension. How can we in our three dimensional existence ever fully comprehend this spiritual dimension? The answer is: we cannot.   

Maybe while we are asking, “WHERE is heaven?” God and those in the spiritual dimension could be saying, “Here! I am right here!” But we cannot comprehend it any more than a two dimensional creature could comprehend a three dimensional person. Their presence is so close they can touch you and intersect your world, and yet you are not aware of it. Is this partially what is happening with the “cloud of witnesses” cheering us on in Hebrews 11? Is this why we feel God as if we could touch him, and almost see him, but . . . not . . . quite?

Maybe when we talk about heaven, we are simply using the wrong language.

God has told us a lot, but we really do not fully understand it. We cannot grasp it. It is beyond our ability to understand. I for one am comfortable living in that paradox. You see, I want a God that is WAY bigger than me. I want a God that is so large I cannot get my mind around the concept. I do not want or need a God who is just about two feet taller than me. Larger than me, but still small enough I can comprehend. I want a God that is so big I cannot wrap my mind totally around him. That is the God I want to pray to, and server and worship.

Maybe when we talk about heaven, we need to change the way our brain functions, change the imagery we use, change the language we use and change the thoughts we think. Maybe, just maybe then, we can get a bit closer to really appreciating heaven and God and what awaits us.

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part Two

What is Rob attempting to accomplish in writing  Love Wins? While I do believe him when he says he did not see the firestorm coming, I cannot believe that he did not think some of his comments would cause a stir. He is far too intelligent for that. He may have underestimated it however. That is an error I have made myself a time or two.

This week on his weekly message at his church he came the closest I have heard him come to rebutting his attackers. In the introduction to his sermon he repeatedly thanked his congregation for their support and apologized for any distraction the media circus had caused. During the brief section of commentary he gave a litany of things he does and does not believe including denying being a Universalist, affirming resurrection, believing in miracles, and several other things that escape me at the moment. He did make one comment that drew quite an applause from his audience. He said “I also believe it is a good idea to only discuss books that you have actually read."

It is hard to disagree with that last statement.

There were warning signs in advance of the media blitz, but the intensity definitely increased with the release of the promo video via Facebook and other media outlets. To be perfectly honest, I began to anticipate the book, if for no other purpose to see what it actually said. This led me to watch many of the interviews especially the hour-long online event that was highly publicized.

Herein is my first comment/criticism of the handling of the situation. In every interview Rob consistently avoided directly answering many questions. He would say something like, “That is a great question,” then tell a story or go in another direction and usually never answer the question. I believe this was all part of the hype for the book. I also believe it is one element of how Rob operates. If you have ever listened to his messages or viewed his videos you know questions are a key element in his teaching style. I do not have a problem that. I actually have for many years done exactly the same thing and found it extremely effective in connecting with my audience. In these instances however I think Rob would have been better served to provide some clear cut direct answers to individuals with honest and sincere questions. (For persons whom simply wanted to engage in theological debate for the purpose of espousing their opinion as opposed to his, I would have simply declined.)

In Love Wins Rob forces us to look at some difficult issues. For many of those issues I fear we have simply assumed what Scripture said or assumed what we think Scripture means by what it says. Furthermore, I do not think it is a bad thing to question your beliefs even if you end up believing the same thing. In many ways that is how we come to articulate what we truly believe. I further think forcing some of this discussion is part of Rob's way of calling us to question our dualism and look anew at what it really means to be a Christian.

Beginning with my next entry I will comment on some of the statements and theological questions raised in the book. But I want to end the second introductory entry by saying that it appears to me that one of Rob's purposes with this book was to push some of these very issues to the front burner of Christian discussion. For too long we have lived with an escapist mentality and many have avoided truly engaging our culture and the problems found therein. Many of these issues we can actually do something about. In talking about heaven and hell and other topics in “here and now terms” it can help to pull the curtain back on some of that thought.

More to come . . .

Rob Bell: "Love Wins" – My Thoughts, Part One

Unless you've been living in a cave, you no doubt have heard by now some of the turmoil surrounding Rob Bell's new book. Up until this point I have chosen personally to remain distant from the fray. Now however, after having completed reading the book I would like to wade into the discussion with more than a little trepidation.

Before I do that however, I think I should give some background on my views of Rob Bell and my knowledge of him. Rob Bell is one of a select number of podcasts that I listen to weekly. It is safe to say that I have probably listened to several hundred messages by Rob. In addition I have viewed all of his Nooma videos, visited his church, seen him on tour, and read his books. I have met Rob in person on two occasions, but that does not mean we are friends or even acquaintances. What it does mean is that I have tremendous respect for him both as a person, a speaker, a pastor, and a fellow believer.

Here is what “I think I know.” I believe Rob is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ. I believe he truly cares for those who are less fortunate. I believe he honestly desires to deliver the true message of Jesus as he understands it. I believe Rob is one of the most creative persons in ministry today. I believe Rob uses that creativity to reach and speak to individuals who are hurting from any number of the events that life can throw at us.

As I write this, I have no axe to grind. Unlike many who are writing on this topic I do not see myself as the last fortress and defender of true orthodoxy. Many others would say the same but their actions and their words belie them. I wish I could say that I do not have a “dog in this fight.” But that would be untrue. I truly do care about the topics under discussion. These are vital issues, and cannot be simply swept under the rug. The church has wrestled with many of these very subjects for millennia, and I realize we are not going to settle them in the upcoming months on the Internet.

In upcoming posts I would like to share some of my thoughts on these topics in an attempt to add another voice to this important dialogue. I am actually a little fearful to post my insights because I do not see myself on the same plane as most of the others who are writing on these topics, and I have seen the venom that can be unleashed when you ask the questions that you are not supposed to ask. On the other hand, I simply cannot . . . not speak. The issues are too important and the ramifications are enormous. This first posting is simply meant to be an overview on my part.

Love Wins reads like Rob talks. As I read the book, having listened to Rob speak so many times, I can hear his voice coming off the pages. In reading his words it is apparent that Rob feels he has something important to say. I found myself asking the very same question I asked almost every other book I read. That would be, “What is the author's purpose?” What exactly are they hoping to accomplish in this work. I hope to say something on that later.

As I close this first installment I have to say that I have been greatly pained over the past 6 to 8 weeks. It has hurt – physically – to read some of the hateful comments that many Christian leaders have written. Blog writers, Christians commenting on blogs, talk shows, television hosts, and others have thrown around words like “heresy,” as if they were confetti in a ticker tape parade. I had to ask myself what was their purpose? These are harsh accusations to make on anyone, and some of these same writers would have said the same about Bonheoffer, Lewis, Barth, Schaeffer, and others I fear. The MSNBC host being arrogant, accusatory, and trying to make gray issues become black and white did not surprise me. That is who he is; it is how he gets ratings; and that is his and the network’s “shtick” as it were. But reading Christians applaud him for that appalled me!

Where has the common decent way of allowing two people to agree to disagree gone in this “Christian debate?” Just because someone does not agree with me does not make them a heretic! Just because they are throwing out questions for discussion that are uncomfortable does not make them a heretic. There are numerous ideas I had on my heresy list early in my ministry that can no longer be found there. To make matters worse, many are attacking Rob based upon what they have heard others say and not on what he actually said.

If there is anything we should all agree on it is the manner in which Jesus said we should treat another. There can be no doubt that even though we disagree on numerous topics, that the expectation from Jesus is that we would always exhibit love one for the other. It seems to me that that key element has been missing far more than we would like to admit. And I must say that Rob's character as displayed in recent weeks surpasses that of his attackers.

Did not Jesus say something about a “house divided” that may be a tiny bit applicable here? Have we lost the art of being civil? Does this only occur in print where there is no human face? Aren't we actually being cowardly, not to mention unChristlike, when we sit behind a keyboard and attack another person? If we are so hell bent (pardon the pun) on Orthodoxy, would it not be extremely orthodox, not to mention Biblical, to talk to the other person?

Now, I will not and do not agree with all of the contents of Love Wins, but there are some good words there. There are serious questions found therein that we should not ignore. The price is too high. My fear is that the good and honest questions are going to get lost in the fervor surrounding the defense of belief.

More to come . . .

You and Your Divorced Friends

As I thought about writing ideas, it dawned on me that I have never written concerning a topic that was a major force in twenty years of ministry. That would be the subject of divorce. Since I lead a ministry now that has at its primary purpose to help create healthy marriages, this topic carries a bit of irony. There is not as much irony as you would think when you know my full past. This subject came about partly because one of my younger brothers took his own life due in great part to a divorce. (I will write more on that some other time.)

I am not talking about divorce percentages in this article (which vary dramatically depending upon who you read), or divorce prevention (where much of my present ministry is involved) or even divorce recovery (although I led well over 1,500 folks through that process in ministry in two states). I am talking about the day to day relationships with people you rub shoulders with on a daily basis who are dealing with this life altering experience.

That is sad since every one of us has people cross our path regularly that are struggling with the rejection, the pain and the lack of self respect that follows a divorce. I know most us can use some basic information on how to assist friends, family members, co-workers and neighbors as they pass through the valley of divorce. That however quite often is simply common sense in dealing with people you care about and beyond the realm of this post.

Instead I would like to comment on what I consider the most important item. That would be this: Do not to ignore your divorced friend. Many folks just slowly disappear from the lives of their friends when divorce hits their lives. It is not planned, but it happens nonetheless. An automobile accident is not planned but it happens.

They are still the same person they were before the divorce. The do not have a communicable disease. They have not all of a sudden become this monster that will destroy you. Most of us do not know what to say, so we say nothing . . . and in essence, we speak volumes. If you do not know what to say, try this:

• “Ann, I am sorry this happened.”
• “Bill, I really do care. Call me if you need a listening ear. I don’t have any advice and you probably don’t need any more, but I can still be your friend.”
• “How about we grab lunch next Friday?”
• “Would you like me to watch the kids for you one day so you can have some time alone?”
• “Hey Tom, want to play 18 holes on Thursday?”

Make up your own variation, but don’t pretend your friend is not there! What if you get together and they do not say anything about the divorce? Who cares? The point is to still be their friend not to be the person with the answers. Just be you. No one else can do that.

It is best if this is female to female and male to male. So men, reach out to your friends as well. It does not come easy for us but it is just as important. I know it may be uncomfortable for you. You think this is easy for them? Sometimes our best stuff is when we are uncomfortable and do not feel like we know what we are doing.

Poetry 30 - "During the Emotions"

Two months ago I began to share a portion of the poetry I have written over the years. The twenty-five poems/prayers written on our Sexuality I would hope to have in print and available for sharing, devotional reading, use in worship, etc. later this year. I will note that here when it happens.

This piece "During the Emotions" is the last one I will post for now. It is oddly enough, the first one I mentioned two months ago, since I first posted it over six years ago. While it was written and published sometime prior to the actual posting, it was posted here during a difficult time of reflecting which led up to a major change in ministry location and career direction. It could however speak to individuals in almost any sphere of their life where difficult struggles are taking place and emotions are running strong.

Now, six years later, I find myself at a similar place, reflecting . . . as a major change is looming on the horizon. There are some major differences this time, but the emotions are very similar. This addresses what was going on inside of me at that time, and how we wrestle with decisions many times. This piece was published in a national book of poetry and received an award for one of the top pieces in that publication. I am pleased with that award, and am pleased to share this piece again here on my site.

_____________________________________________

During The Emotions

How did

I get here?

This is not something

I planned. But

these feelings just seem to come upon me.

I never intended to have these feelings.

It is as if they sneaked up on

me.

I have always claimed - - - at least outwardly - - -

self-sufficiency. Now

these feelings come.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

My life is something that has been

carefully orchestrated,

planned,

structured,

orderly. But now

these feelings come.

What do they mean?

Do they mean anything?

Should they mean something?

Guidance –

that is what I need.

Advise – of that

I have plenty.

I need no more.

Frustration –

it has paid a visit,

several visits in fact.

So it is to You

I come - - - seeking

this

guidance. Because now

these feelings come.

Poetry 29 - "Homophobic (Perhaps Not Even Aware)

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Homophobic (Perhaps Not Even Aware)

Lord,

They say I am normal.

I feel I am normal.

I wonder what it normal.

It does not matter if I know at this point or not.

I do know this:

I have been guilty of treating another human being

in a manner which is not pleasing to You.

I do not know why I do this.

Maybe I am afraid of what I do not understand.

Remind me how Jesus treated those who were rejected by others.

Help me to be more like Jesus.

Help me to love like Jesus.

I do not have to accept what I disagree with,

but I must love the other person.

I do not have to condone actions,

but I must care for them as persons.

Help me Father to be strong where I need to be strong,

and loving where I need to be loving.

Help me to be able to know how to blend strength and love.

Help me to fully grasp and understand the difference.

Amen.

Poetry 28 - "Homosexual Desires"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with Homosexual Desires

Dear God,

I am so confused.

I feel things that others do not understand.

I feel things that most may never understand.

Help me to understand.

I do not want to hurt others.

I do not want to be hurt by others.

I do not want to misunderstand.

I do not wish to be misunderstood and questioned.

Help me to not hurt so.

As much as I can heal . . .

heal me.

As much as I can change . . .

change me.

As much as I can cope . . .

help me cope.

As much as I must accept

help me accept.

This will not be easy.

I need You and Your love.

I need others and their support.

I ask for Your strength.

I ask for Your wisdom.

I ask for Your help

Amen.

Poetry 27 - "Guilt from Masturbation"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Dealing with Guilt Over Masturbation

Lord,

There really is no one else I can talk to about this.

It is just too personal.

I do not know if it is wrong or not.

I feel guilt,

but I am not sure why.

It is not really a conviction for sin I am feeling.

It is more like

I am being cheated out of something.

Dear God,

I have no one with which to share

this very important part of my being.

The aloneness

afterwards

reminds me of that.

I ask for deliverance from unnecessary personal guilt.

I do confess thoughts related to this

that may be sinful.

I praise You that You created me as a sexual being

with sexual feelings.

And I ask . . . I plead

For someone with which to share this with.

Amen.

Poetry 26 - "Addicted to Pornography"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Addicted to Pornography

My God,

I know that I should not allow anything to control my life

except You.

I now find I am being controlled by my thoughts

and my addiction

to materials that are not pleasing to You.

This is degrading to women,

whom You created.

This is degrading to men,

whom You created.

This is degrading to sex,

which You created.

This is degrading to me,

whom You desire to help.

Help me get the necessary help.

Help me become accountable to someone trustworthy.

Help me overcome my addiction to pornography.

Help me to learn to control my thought life better.

This is not a struggle that will be over quickly.

This is not a battle that will be easily won.

This is not a struggle

that You do not care about either.

I submit to You for the help I can get nowhere else.

I ask for the assistance

that only You and Your Spirit can grant.

Amen.

Poetry 25 - "Recovering from an Adulterous Relationship"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Recovering from and Adulterous Relationship

My God and my Father,

I have failed you miserably.

I have had a sexual relationship

with someone who is not my spouse.

I know your were not surprised by my sin,

but you were saddened.

I have hurt my partner.

I have hurt others.

I have hurt You.

I have hurt myself.

Please forgive me.

Help me to rise from this incredible failing.

Help me to forgive myself.

Like David,

Against You I have sinned.

Wash away my iniquity.

Cleanse me of my sin.

Restore to me the joy of my salvation.

My tears are bitter.

My pain is real – even if others cannot see it.

You presence is just as real.

I do not make light of this sin . . .

but I AM picking up the pieces and moving forward.

May I be sensitive to help others because of this failure of mine.

Because of Jesus Christ Your Son.

Amen.

Poetry 24 - "Virgins but Wish to be Married"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Virgins and Wish to be Married

Lord,

This will not be understood by many.

This will not be understood by most.

This is simply how I feel.

I am many years now an adult . . . and I am still a virgin.

I will not attempt lie to You or anyone else.

I am not very happy about it.

This is not how I expected my life to turn out.

I have kept from sex,

because I believe it is wrong outside of marriage.

That is why I am not happy.

I wanted to be married by now and no longer a virgin.

If I am not to be married,

why do I struggle with these desires?

I need Your help Father.

This is a battle I simply cannot win alone.

I know marriage will not solve all related problems.

In fact, it could make some of them worse.

But it is still the choice I want to make.

Please grant me the grace,

in whatever state You lead me.

I want to trust You to do what is best with my life.

Amen.