Catastrophes

Don't some commercials drive you crazy? I hope they are simply out to get your attention and not trying to state opinions they really believe. I especially dislike ones that paint life like it can be all fun no work, all joy and no pain. Experience tells us just the opposite. Pain is an inevitable part of life. No matter where we live, what type of work we do, whether we are male or female, we will experience pain.

Sometimes that pain is so severe we could readily call it a catastrophe. Catastrophes come in many sizes and shapes. Sometimes they come disguised as the death of someone we love dearly. At other times it looks like an unfavorable medical diagnosis or being laid off from a job. Still other times it is the color of a divorce. No matter the color, it is always painful.

This is February. The winter has been dragging on for many months now. I realize that in truth, this has been a relatively mild winter. But temperature and precipitation notwithstanding, there is just not enough sunshine this time of year. It can make folks begin to feel their own personal catastrophe. Problems that seemed small in the summer sunshine seem insurmountable as the sunshine is less frequent. Issues that remained buried in the summer, rise up in the fall and winter.

How do you support a friend during a catastrophe? Below are excerpts from an article in Strategic Adult Ministry Journal on just how to do that. The author, Paul Litten, dealt with his own catastrophe and shares these lessons.

Focus on the Person. Evaluate the person in light of this catastrophe in their life. How deep is the loss the person is experiencing? Some are worse than others. What is the cope-ability as it were? What else is taking place in their life? Do not overstep your bounds, you are not Superman or Superwoman, but you can focus on the needs of this particular person. There is no one size fits all assistance. Carefully evaluate how to help.

The Power of Presence. Let them know they are not alone. Call them. Send them a card. Write an email. Do not, I repeat, do not offer advice unless it is specifically asked for.

The Community of Faith. Ask yourself what your role is. Everyone has certain issues they are able to help with. Do not work outside of your gift set.

Listen in Love. There is a healing that comes from someone listening to us. Don't try to fix them, just listen. As Harold Ivan Smith would say, "Listen all the way to the end of the sentence."

Be Practical. Do not always look for the emotional or spiritual need. Sometimes the needs are simply someone to mow the lawn, clean the bathroom or pay the bills.

The Long Haul. Catastrophes do not leave overnight. Be prepared to assist over a long period of time. Love the person for longer than an overnight.

I ask again, How do you support a friend during a catastrophe?