My Journey With Cancer - Part 16

April 29, 2018 – Waiting

This past week marked the end of my third cycle of chemo treatments. I have now had nine infusions. That means tomorrow (Monday, April 30) is my day off. I can honestly say I need a week off in the worst way. This past week has been helacious. (That is a highly technical term that explains many things.) Ending this afternoon it has been on incredibly busy week on all front and the build up of chemicals in my system has begun to hit me hard. I may write about that in a future post, but not today. Since this is the end of my third cycle, I am due for a CT scan to see how/if things are progressing/regressing. I do want this information. After a call to remind them of this schedule need I will wait until this week to learn the schedule for the scan and the learn when I will know the results.

There is a word in that first paragraph that causes most of us to cringe just a bit. I am sure you saw it. That word is “waiting.” I am waiting. I do no really like waiting all that much, yet I have spent more time doing just that over these past months.

Waiting on the test

Waiting on test results

Waiting to see the MD

Waiting on the lab to complete work so they can begin my infusion

Waiting on the infusion

Waiting in the waiting room (Has anything ever been more aptly named?!)

Just waiting

You probably are somewhat like me. You do not really like the waiting thing either. If I am waiting, it means someone else is doing something and I am not. It means a loss of control. Herein lies the rub. We like the control, or at least the allusion of it. That is true even if we know we really are not in control, God is.

If I have had anything driven home to me over the past 6-months it is that fact. God is in control. I am not. God gives me freedom – within limits – to make decisions that affect my life and those I care about, but ultimately it is God who is in control.

It is nice know that the God who is in control of my life, and my waiting, loves me, cares for me, looks out for me, leads me, and likes me.

Guess I’ll wait a bit longer to see where this leads.