My Journey With Cancer - Part 14

March 31, 2018 – Wear the Good Watch

Some years back I had the following story in my illustration file for sermons. It never actually made it into a message, but the story has impacted me on some level for many years.

As the story goes a son is preparing for the funeral of his mother. He is selecting the dress, jewelry and other items that will adorn her body as she lies in the coffin for family and friends to come to the final viewing. He selects the dress, the scarf, the necklace, and other items that will be the final clothes his mother will ever wear.

In the process of selecting the clothes, the son comes across a beautiful silk slip made with ornate handiwork and elaborate lace. His mother never wore it. It seems she felt it was so special she was waiting for the right event to wear it. As the son holds the slip, and lets his fingers trace the outlines of the lace he says aloud, “I guess this is a finally special enough event to wear this slip.”

The point hits me home every time I recount the story.

Now go with me to the Christmas season of 2011. At that time I have been living with the dream of leading an organization that grew to what we had all anticipated it could. The senior staff, all of which I was privileged to hire, train and work with were an incredible group of men and women. We were equally divided among gender and races. It was a beauty to be a part of. We had a representation of at least 50-60 other equally diverse staff among our area. But these individuals were very special to me.

I have never been one to have strong negative feelings about surprise gifts, surprise parties, and the like. I guess I always felt that if someone wanted to surprise me, why should I get in the way of their fun?

Our parent organization at that time held the usual Christmas luncheon, of which my staff was a part. As we neared the end of this lunch, one of my staff, said to me, “Why don’t all of us on your staff go somewhere and have something to drink and hang out together?” I was totally game, because I truly loved these men and women.

They suggested a location, or so I thought, and we all loaded up in our respective vehicles to drive to the agreed upon location. I was sitting at a high top bar stool around a table, when out of nowhere, Gavin (who was only 7-8 at the time) was tugging on my pant leg. I recall saying, “Hey buddy! What are you doing here?” I then saw Kay there and was even more surprised. Why? What? How?

After we ordered a drink, the members of my senior staff pulled out a gift to present to me and one to Kay. We were taken completely aback. They were matching Tissot timepieces. These were not watches. They were of a quality and price that I have never purchased for myself, and probably never would have. It still ranks as one of the top gifts I have ever been given, mostly because of what it meant.

Over the years since I received the timepiece, I have worn it only at what I would call dress up occasions. This would include, worship, banquets, and other important events. It was never my daily watch. I had one that was more plain and simple that I wore throughout the work week.

Now to today, as I recovered from my surgery and began my chemotherapy, began to go more regularly about my normal duties of the work week. Somewhere along that early time frame, I was getting dressed and reached to put on my normal weekly watch, but saw this incredible timepiece. I recall at that moment remembering the story I recounted above. As I thought about what lay ahead for me I said aloud to myself, alone in my bedroom, “Wear the good watch.”

From that day to this, if you see me during the week, on Sunday and anywhere that I would not fear the timepiece being damage due to my activity, I am wearing it.

I decided what am I waiting for? Celebrate every day! Every day is a special gift from God. Every day is deserving of the good timepiece.

Where is it in your life that you need to celebrate the gift that every single day is? Wear the good watch.

Two days ago my wife and I celebrated our 43^rd wedding anniversary. Wear the good watch.

Today on Holy Saturday, we prepare to celebrate resurrection on the morrow. Wear the good watch.

Wear the good watch!

My Journey With Cancer - Part 13

March 18, 2018 – Back from the Brink, con’t.

Here is my intention. Only a few folks find hearing what transpired from surgery to now interesting, so I am going to plow through this one from 30,000 feet for those individuals, then get back to making the blogging more current. I actually have already written the next one entitled “Wear the Good Watch” (you’ll have to read it to understand.) I will post it the day after this one. I have been busy since I have gotten back to work and life and ministry and dropped off here. I will do better.

Sound like a plan? Good. It’s what I am going to do.

I can say without any hesitation, that the seven days I spent in the hospital following the first surgery, were the most miserable nights I have ever spent. Now that is saying a lot since in the months leading up to the surgery when I was awake all most all night every night with the itching, I would dread nightfall every single day.

The morning following surgery I awoke with 7-8 differing tubes, IVs and other devices attached to me. I had an NG tube, a catheter, a side drain, an epidural, 3 IVs (two of which were still in place) and at least 2-3 other IVs over the next 7-days. They would remain a part of my body for the next week, in spite of me constantly asking how long before I could get them out. I must be honest and admit I may have been a bit pushy on that, but it was what was on my mind.

Sleep again became a constant elusive prey. It is difficult to rest when things are literally coming out of your body on all sides. I would lie awake at night for hours on end contemplating what was in front of me, what was taking place or just trying to get comfortable. On all but two nights, Kay was with me, sleeping on the sofa in my room. Hearing her across the room asleep (No, I did not say snoring!) became the most comforting sound in the world to me for it meant I was not alone. I know God was present, but having a human being present who cared for me meant everything! (Now, there is a sermon just waiting to be preached!)

I am joking when I say I would lie awake for hours on end, because the hospital staff did not allow that. I had my vitals checked every four hours, my medications administered, and other necessary interruptions that meant I was awakened every two hours all night. At 5:00 am each day my blood was drawn and sent to the lab, and by 6:30 MDs were starting their rounds to check on me which meant 4-5 MD visits. It was non-preferred celebrity status. If I did drift off to sleep, that was corrected in short order!

After a week I had pushed myself, and asked often enough, that I was allowed to go home. While I did not sleep more than 90 minutes at a time over the next month or so, I was at my home in my bed. I learned later when I found an online video of a portion of my surgery why that was the case. I was amazed to see just how much they cut me, how far they stretched the interior of my body, how many stitches and other procedures I cannot even describe were performed on me. After viewing that, I said “It is no wonder my entire abdomen hurts when I lie down, move or turn over. They did indeed “filet me like a fish,” as one friend put it. Gavin came in and saw me looking at the video and said, “Why would you watch that?” I laughed and said, “Well, I have over 90 holes/scars on my abdomen, I wanted to see what they did to put them there.” He shook his head and walked away.

As I tie up this “catch up” post here is the timeline from my 2018. My original scans (sonograms, CT Scans, and MRIs) were on December 1^st and 2^nd.  My first surgical procedure where I received my stint to begin to allow me some relief, and they took the biopsy of the tumor on my pancreas and a portion of my liver, was on December 4, 2017. I learned of my diagnosis on December 7, 2017 and met with my surgeon for the first time on December 11, 2017.

My major surgery was on January 9, 2018 with my discharge from the hospital on January 16, 2018. February 1^st I began easing back into work duties with a lot less stamina than before. On Friday, February 2^nd, I met my oncologist for the first time where we laid out our plan of action. The following Wednesday, February 7^th was the third surgery to install my port. Friday, February 9^th, one month from my surgery, I had a CT scan to determine two things. The first was to see how the tumor had progressed from my initial scans when it was discovered on December 1-4. Secondly, it was to get a baseline on where the tumor is at present and to see if there are any other signs of the tumor spreading other than the areas the surgeon found during surgery and removed.

I began chemotherapy infusion treatments on Monday, February 12^th. I have a regular routine of three weeks on and one week off with my chemotherapy regimen. Every three months I will have another CT scan to determine if the cancer has spread, to see if the tumor is growing, and if the medication is actually working. My CT scan in February showed no appreciable growth from December, so that is encouraging. This routine of 3-on 1-off with scans to determine progress as I understand it will continue until I my body can no longer take it, or it is determined that the chemotherapy is not working.

I have chemotherapy infusion on Mondays. I chose Monday strategically so I would have full energy at the beginning of the week, and again on Sunday when I preach at my churches.

In a future post I will write about what it is like to undergo the chemotherapy while living and enjoying life. For those who think that is morbid or just plain weird, you may feel free to skip those posts. Of course, I will not know!

Finally, for those who have asked me, I have been back at work for some time now, but it was not until the last week to ten days that I felt my stamina returning from the surgery. I knew that I needed to get back to doing what I enjoy doing and am good at in order to be fully alive. I was back preaching two weeks ago and was reminded that I was quite good at it, and enjoyed it immensely.

So, that is where I am. I will post any health updates as they become available. For now this is how I function and I am quite thankful that God has given me the strength and grace to continue down this road.