Poetry 19 - "Aging and Sex"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with Aging and Sex

Dear God,

I look in the mirror and realize

I am not as young as I once was.

I cannot run as fast

or as long.

Sexually, it is the same.

I have the same desires,

but these failures make me feel so worthless.

My being is not made up entirely of sex,

so why do I feel like it is?

Help me accept myself where I am.

Help me make change and adapt where I can

and should.

Help me to be patient with myself.

Help my partner to be patient with me.

Help me release this struggle to Your grace.

Amen.

Poetry 18 - "Recovering from Date Rape"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Recovering from Date Rape

Precious Lord,

I trusted and I cared.

I went out with a person who violated me.

Why do I feel guilty?

I did nothing wrong.

Why do others doubt me?

I am the victim.

Why must I suffer?

Another sinned against me.

Jesus,

I am still unsure of what damage has been done to me

I ask for Your protection

from the memories,

from this person,

from my desire to see them pay a high price,

from disease

from shame.

To You, I commit this dreadful deed.

From You, I must draw strength.

Upon You, I must lean.

With You, I must walk this dark valley,

for you have walked valleys of pain before.

My tears remind me of the act committed against me.

May I respond as You did

to those who sinned against You?

Amen.

Poetry 17 - "Thought Life"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with their Thought Life

Lord,

My mind gives me little or no rest.

Far too often

I think thoughts

I know are not pleasing to You.

This is a battle I cannot win alone.

I know my desires are normal,

but I also know

that I am invading the privacy of another

without their permission

. . . or Yours.

Help me to bring the area of my life under control.

Help me to submit to You and Your Spirit.

Help me to respect the other person.

Thank You for helping me,

even when I do not even realize it.

Amen

Poetry 16 - "Temptation"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . in a Sexually Tempting Relationship

Lord,

I love someone.

I love them in powerful fashion.

Our love is real.

Our love is strong.

The temptation is also real . . .

and strong.

The desires are pulling us in a direction that

we have no intention of going.

We have decided not to become involved sexually,

but the pressure is incredible at times.

Heavenly Father,

I ask You

for grace that is stronger than our temptation.

for confidence that our decision is correct,

for a route of escape when the way seems closed.

I recommit myself to You.

Amen.

Poetry 15 - "Considering Marriage"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Considering Marriage

Dear Lord,

You created marriage.

You created sex.

I am now considering both

with someone for whom I care very deeply.

As sincerely as I know how,

I ask for Your blessing on this relationship.

I ask You to bless this marriage.

I desire for you to bless our sexual union.

I will be honest and open with this person,

I will share what I desire to share sexually,

and be open to sharing what I now do not.

I will give my body unashamedly

and unconditionally to this person.

I will accept their body unashamedly

and unconditionally

as a gift from them and from You.

I am willing to accept my share of the responsibility

for the learning process.

I am willing to accept my share of the joy

from the result of having learned.

Thank You Father that we are both sexual beings.

As long as we live

may we only be sexually involved with one another

because this is right, and this is pleasing to You.

Amen.

Poetry 14 - "Previously Married"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Previously Married

Father,

I was once married,

now I am not.

I once knew sexual intimacy,

now I do not.

I once shared my total being with another

now I do not.

I grapple with this almost every day I live.

The frustration is immense.

The temptation is incredible.

The pain is very real. Dear Father

I ask for grace to deal with this pressure,

but what I would really like

is someone

with which to once again

share this most intimate part of me.

Please grant me the comfort I need

to live a life that is pleasing to You.

Place your healing balm on my soul and my body.

Amen.

Poetry 13 - "Recovering from Broken Relationship"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Recovering from a Broken Relationship

Dear Lord,

Why do I feel attracted

to someone who is not attracted to me?

This is not the way it should be!

My heart is in knots,

please untie it.

I ask for freedom from this bondage I am living under.

Help me to grant them freedom.

May I learn to love again.

Help me to trust again.

Help us both Father to move on with our lives.

Amen.

Poetry 12 - "Struggling with Abstinence"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with Abstinence

Dear God,

I need Your help.

I never knew temptation could be this strong.

It was so easy to tell everyone

that I will not become sexually active with another person

before I marry them.

Living it is much more difficult.

It is more difficult than I ever imagined.

Sometimes

I ask why You placed these desires within me

if I do not have someone to share them with.

I know that isn’t the right way to view it.

But it is how I feel

. . . sometimes . . . sometimes.

This is going to have to be a partnership with You.

If I am indeed going to keep THIS promise

I must have Your help.

Please Dear Father,

Grant me the strength I simply do not have.

Amen.

Poetry 11 - "Abuse Victims"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Victims of Sexual Abuse

Oh my God,

no one knows pain like mine.

I hurt from the treatment I received in the past.

No one deserves what I received.

I feel so dirty,

so cheap,

so used.

I did nothing wrong Lord.

I am the victim.

Why must I pay this awful price?

I cannot even express how badly this hurts!

It hurts me now is relating to others.

It hurts in relating to myself.

It hurts in relating to You.

I must have your healing!

Please heal me mentally.

Please heal me physically.

Please heal me emotionally.

Please heal me spiritually.

Please heal me sexually!

Oh my Father! I know You love me!

In spite of the awful event in my life . . . You love me.

Help me to move on in my life.

Help me to grow,

to learn

to trust

to love.

Yes God, help me to learn to love.

Amen.

Poetry 10 - "Body Shame"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with Body Shame

Lord,

I look at myself in the mirror . . .

and I cringe.

Do others see what I see?

Do I see what I see?

I am made in Your image. I do not feel like it.

Do You really love me . . . as I am?

Do You accept me?

Do I accept me?

I know I must accept me.

But I also know I should change some things.

Do I REALLY want to make changes in my appearance?

Do I have the ability to make changes?

Do You want me to make changes?

At times I seek to place the blame on others.

While others may have played a part,

this is my battle and my struggle to win.

I confess where I am weak.

I accept where I am simply me.

At times I wonder if I know the difference.

Do You wish to help me?

YES!

I release this struggle to Your grace.

I rest in Your love.

Amen.

Poetry 9 - "Used"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Feeling Used and Abandoned

Lord it hurts.

I should have known better.

I feel like such a fool.

I gave in . . . and now . . .

I am alone.

I thought it was “right.”

I thought it would work out.

I was wrong.

I need Your forgiveness.

I need Your love.

I need Your acceptance and restoration.

I need Your strength to learn from my mistakes.

I need to release the desire for revenge.

I tried to fill an empty spot in my life.

I used the wrong thing.

I need You.

I need You more than ever.

Lord, it hurts. Please help me.

Amen.

Poetry 8 - "Theology"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Having Trouble with Sexuality versus Theology

Father,

I thought I had all the answers.

I am learning anew that I do not.

Please help me to reconcile in my mind,

what I know about You

and what I seem to be learning about sexuality.

If something is right, help me to cling to that.

If something is wrong, help me to leave it.

If I am unsure, help me to discern.

Amen.

Poetry 7 - "Repentant"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Repentant for Having Sinned Sexually

Dear God,

How do I say, “I’m sorry,”

and sound like I meant it? For I do.

I truly am sorry for my sin.

I feel so black,

so vile.

I have hurt someone else.

I have hurt myself.

I have hurt You.

Please remind my spirit

that there is no sin so great you will not forgive it.

You know my weakness.

You know my area of temptation.

You know I fell.

You know.

Forgive me of my sin.

Help me to have the strength that comes from above

so I will not repeat my error.

I pray to you, because Jesus died for me.

Thank you, Father.

Amen.

Poetry 6 - "Praise"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Wanting to Praise God for their Sexuality

Father,

I read in the Psalms that we are “fearfully and wonderfully” made.

That includes my sexual identity.

I praise You that You have made me a man (woman.)

I am thankful that You have given me

the capacity to share with another

the inner depths of my physical being.

I praise You for the wonderful gift of sexual expression.

May I use that gift wisely,

and always, always be thankful for it.

Amen.

Poetry 5 - "Vulnerability"

For a full explanation as to the background of these poems, go the my entry on January 16, 2011. This "link" should take you there.

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A Prayer for

Those Who Are

. . . Struggling with Vulnerability

Lord,

I hear all this talk about sex.

I have no plans for sex in the wrong place or at the wrong time.

It isn’t so much sex that scares me

as it is just being vulnerable and open to another person.

I am afraid of revealing who I am.

What if show them . . . “me,”

and they don’t like “me?”

Please Father,

Help me to learn to trust another human.

When they have earned the right

help me to share that part of me

that I should be willing to share.

Help me break the bondage I have placed myself under.

Amen.

Poetry 4 - Poems on Sexuality - Introduction

Over 15 years ago I was in the final year of classes for my Doctoral work. The next year I would begin my dissertation and receive my degree in the spring of 1997. Since much of my doctorate was related to human sociological development, in one way or another, one of the final classes I took was on Human Sexuality. It was one of the more extraordinary classes I had. The professor, Dr. Harold Ivan Smith, was a prolific author and reader. He had probably read almost everything worth reading on the subject.

For the final project in the class, I decided to do a book of free verse poetry, written as more or less liturgical prayers, for individuals relating to various areas of our sexuality. I was not attempting to make any theological statements in these poems. I was simply seeking to give words to individuals who may otherwise have struggled with them. That would still be true today as I read them anew. I also think these some of prayer would serve well as liturgical elements prayed as a group collectively or broken up as responsive readings.

This is not meant to sound like anything more than factual information, but Dr. Smith gave me an A+ in both the class and this final project. He tried his best to get me to have these poems published, and gave me some insights into that. They are all protected under copyright law, but ultimately they were never bound and published. I guess I could say, until now.

Beginning with my next post, I am going to put all of these poems on this site over the upcoming weeks. As you read, you will see that I have attempted to address a very wide array of topics. Some of them will make many Christian people uncomfortable. I do not apologize for that, since the topics addressed are the stuff of real life. If you read one and someone comes to mind that you think would benefit, you have my permission to pass them along. I do ask that in the sense of accuracy and legality, that you give the author proper credit, who in turn passes the credit along to his Heavenly Father who gave him any talents in this area of writing.

Poetry 3 - "Meeting Me"

This is the last of the three Advent related pieces written in 2002.

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Meeting Me

Holy Child, why is it that you would

leave heaven’s glory

to lie

in a feeding trough?

Why would you

surrender unlimited power

to become

the most helpless of beings?

What was your goal?

Why did you come?

Why are you here?

You will not remain this way.

You will grow

first into a boy, and finally into a man.

You will die

upon a cross for my sin . . . you will die.

You will rise

From a death that should have been mine.

Why would you choose to meet me here?

Is it because of my need?

Is it because of your love?

Is it because . . .

Holy Child. You will not remain this way.

But

This is the path that leads to your goal

and humanity’s gain.

That is why you came.

That is why we bow.

That is why we worship You.

That is why we call you Savior.

That is why.

Poetry 2 - "How Abounding"

This second piece of poetry was also written at Advent in 2002 seeking Mary's point of view. However, it could apply to any of us looking honestly at ourselves.

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How Abounding

How deep is the sin

that runs into my very being?

It stares back when I look at my reflection.

It is a part of my nature.

I am left with no hope of escaping it clutches

unless God delivers me.

Is that what this is about?

How amazing is the grace of God

that extends beyond the grasp of my sin?

It sees I am

unworthy of this honor.

I am totally unable to undertake this task alone.

This grace makes me

worthy . . .

and available. . . for God’s purposes.

Perhaps THAT is what this is all about?

How abounding is the voice of God

that calls me

to something other than myself?

This is something I could never have imagined

No human can fully understand this

or believe it

. . . without His assistance?

Maybe that is just the point

it is his aid of which I am in need.

It is that same aid of which we all are in need.

And soon I may hold that very aid in my arms.

How abounding. How abounding indeed.

Poetry 1 - "Persons"

One of the things I have enjoyed over the years is writing free verse poetry. I have had some pieces published in poetry books and considered it an honor. You can read one of the published pieces “here.” I may repost it again later. As far as I know that is the only poem I have ever posted on this site. That is about to change. I intend to post one or two pieces of my poetry here each week for the next several months. I will provide some introduction to each one to give it some context. Some of these will be personal; some will be faith related; and the final 25 will be of a surprising nature that I will explain at that time. So, here we go.

Since we have just passed the Christmas holidays, I am going to make the first couple of entries some poems I wrote in 2002 relating to the season we call Christmas. This first piece ask what could have been going through Jesus’ mind while lying in the manger, if full knowledge of who he was had been his that early instead of later in his life. I am asking for the sake of the art.

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Persons

So many faces

Each one different

beautiful in its own way

Do they realize how important everyone is?

So many minds

Each one thinking different thoughts

bowing to their former self

Have they truly comprehended the significance of this?

So many expectations

Each one coming from a personal bias

bringing a different vantage point to this experience.

Are they willing to see what is actually taking place?

So many viewpoints

Each one with a slant all it own.

bending this night into their own experience.

How will I get them to allow my Father to work?

So many persons

Each one unique, and loved from above

bonding with a baby they cannot comprehend.

How long before they understand?

So many needs

Each one greater than the one before

becoming larger as the night passes.

Will they allow me to point them to the true answer?

They are all looking at me.

Pain in their heart.

Expectation is in their face.

Hope is in their voice.